Genuine Faux Farm Vocab

The following was published in our July 2009 newsletter. Some folks who read the blog don't read the newsletter and vice versa. So...

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We can't help it. Tammy and I have a tendency to create or use words differently than many people when we refer to things on the farm. It's so ingrained in us that we often forget that others do not have an English to GFF dictionary. Here's the beginning of your personal copy of that work:

Skritcher - any tool used to scratch up the ground and make life more difficult for weeds. Officially, a skritcher has tines - but we stretch the definition for saddle hoes, wire weeders, etc.

Product Tester - that would be Tammy. She likes to eat produce in the field.

Squish - ya, that's a squash. There is a summer squish, pumpkin squish, butternut squish and rotten squish that goes 'squish' when it's squashed.

Knucklehead - a generic term used for any of our poultry that is causing Rob's blood pressure to go up. Occassionally, deer, chuckies, raccoon, cats and other critters will become a knucklehead. Early in life, Rob called bullheads 'knuckleheads,' but that's another (GFF) story.

Chicklet - a baby chicken.

Garden Zit - potato beetle larvae. They're orange with some spotting/striping and look a little like mini-Jabba the Hut. They pop when squished (not squashed).

Three Shirt Day - think about it. We work outside. It gets warm. We perspire.

Kite - it's a pull-behind tool for a garden tractor that flips up grass clippings into the carrier so it can be used as mulch or compost. It can catch the wind too, there you have it.

Cardio - using the wheel hoe in the gardens. See "Three Shirt Day."

Chuckie - any woodchuck on our property has a tendency to be at least mildly evil. The mama woodchuck is, of course, Bride of Chuckie and the young-uns could be considered Spawn of Chuckie - but they look more like...

Ewok - a woodchuck youngster.

Paid in Full - what a critter is said to have done if it does not escape from the Fauxes after it takes out some of their poultry or crops.

Kamikaze - a blackfly or gnat that does that little loop in front of your eye before diving right in.