Are We Amused Yet?

Our indoor supervisors, Bree and Hobnob are getting a bit tired of me trying out jokes and puns on them.  They told me by simply giving the look you see below that I need to find a new audience.  Guess what?  YOU are the new audience.  Aren't you lucky?  You'll be really lucky if you get to the end of this post (which is highly recommended if you can stand it).

Actually, I thought I would share some things that were sent my way that I found amusing.  If it inspires me to further silliness, then that is price of doing business.  Or at least, it the price of reading the Genuine Faux Farm blog.  To get started, let us all assess our moods.  

Unfortunately, I am a farmer, so I really have a hard time trying to figure out where I fall on the scale of cat.  After all, according to the graphic below, it changes from moment to moment.  Let's just say I follow a progressions from 1 to 9 most days - although I might move 7 to the end.

We've also been discussing the legal structure of the Genuine Faux Farm.  We are thinking that we should create a new position simply because I want to be able to put these initials at the end of my name:

Our next trick is to determine what CIEIO stands for.  Some thoughts include:

Chief Informal Executive Involving Onions
Credible Information Exists In Observation
Crumpled Iguana Ears Ignore Owls

I'd love a few more ideas - so have at it in the comments!

The Sandman used to always let me try out jokes on him.  He usually encouraged me to keep them to myself.   Regardless, the following illustration made me think of the Sandman.  I wonder if he really was a dragon using an illusion spell?  I wouldn't have put it past him.

But, the real motivation for this post is in the following:

I nabbed this from a facebook post being shared by a group of farmers and I just could NOT help myself.

I decided I should milk this for all it was worth!  Gather around like cattle and ye shall be HERD!

Dear diary,
  Today I went to the farm to ruminate about ruminants.   I thought they might have a beef with me, but it turns out this was the udder kind of bovine.  I met a cow and gave it the nick-name "Cuddles," but it turns out that this reference turned the cow's stomachs.  I tried to cross the field without touching the ground by leaping from the back of one young cow to another.  After that, I took stock of the situation and realized my calves were sore.  Now THEY had a beef with me.  I guess it was time to moove on.

I was wondering how farmers select a bull to mate with a cow and figured they must have gone to a meet market of some kind.  One guy tried to tell me that he had a batch of chicks and some young calves that shared a pasture.  After a while one young rooster took a liking to one of the bullocks, riding on its back from place to place.  He said they went everywhere together, including the county fair.  I decided that had to be a cock and bull story.

I realize that many people have not been exposed to the story about the cow that got a foot caught in a trap and had to have its hoof removed.  Removing a hoof is the equivalent of taking off ones toes, it has to be difficult to adapt to.  It was made worse by the fact that the other cows ostracized the hoofless cow.  Apparently, they were lack toes intolerant.  Yes, that's the untoed story.

So, now I HAVE milked this for all it's worth.  Why?
Because you have just experienced "deja moo" - the feeling that you have heard this cow pun before.

Now, go take a nap.  It's pasture bedtime.