Life in Fifteens

 Yesterday's post was pretty short and disjointed, but I think it works as an update post.  Let's see if I can do something more for Thursday.

I have been amazed and humbled by the well-wishes and kind words.  But, I'm not yet sure how to answer "how's the recovery going?"  The normal issue of not wanting to overburden someone who was just trying to let me know they cared enough to ask (but didn't' really want much in the way of detail) plays into it, of course.  

The other problem is the fact that my status, from my perspective can be different from moment to moment.  I felt pretty good fifteen minutes ago, so I took a slightly more brisk walk outside.  After the walk, I felt pretty good but was more tired than I had a right to be (my opinion).  A half hour before, my stomach was feeling kind of sour, so you'd have gotten yet another reading.

Recovery is simply a winding road - and it can be hard to accept that.  

Perhaps that's my best answer.

On the whole, I would rather be riding today's 15 minute roller coaster than last Wednesday's (or pretty much any day from then to yesterday).  That must mean things are looking up.

I've really had it on my mind that I've been trying to get through 15 minute chunks of life lately.  Why?  Because sometimes that's about as far into the future I could manage to consider.  

Fifteen minutes in the chair in the recovery room.

Fifteen minutes standing in the recovery room.  

Fifteen minutes pacing in the room, dragging all of the various post-surgery accoutrements with me.  

Fifteen minutes in the chair with my head back, thinking, I have to sleep.

Waking up and thinking, "HA! I got some sleep!"

Then looking at the clock and seeing...

yep, 15 minutes had passed.

Things ARE better than that by a long ways now and I'll take it.

But, I may never look at 15 minutes the same way again.