Concentrate

There is one ability I have had a fair measure of pride in throughout most of my life.  I typically have been able to concentrate well when I decide that I WILL concentrate.  But, what happens when something you feel is a strength feels like it has abandoned you for a time?

To illustrate that point, I show you this photo of green bean plants with flowers.  What does it have to do with today's topic?  Nothing!  Well, maybe I'll find a way to tie it in  We'll see.

First, let me do the full-disclosure thing: I do not pretend that I am always able to concentrate fully on whatever it is I am doing at any given moment.  Like most everyone else, there are annoyingly large portions of my life where I could not be bothered to focus on something - even though it should have been important enough for me to do so.

What I am trying to say is that when I decide I am going to put my focus on something and I put some energy into it, I typically will stick with it until it is done.  This is true even if the job gets tedious or I become mentally and physically tired.  The difference here is that I might not choose to concentrate fully on something - which can be disappointing.  Right now, I am not sure I can fully concentrate even when I DO choose to do so.

I am the same person who, as a child, sorted through ALL of the jumbled nails, screws and other fasteners on Dad's workbench when I was a kid.  To be clear - Dad was a siding contractor at the time and he often would dump his pouch of fasteners into jars or other containers without worrying about which thing went where.  What was important for him was that he could find what he needed in his pouch while at the job, so he needed to start fresh with each job.  The leftovers and what was on the workbench were not exactly the same thing.

I suppose you could argue that sorting these things should not take too much concentration.  That might be true if you weren't also trying to learn the different fasteners at the same time you were sorting. I will say that I did learn a fair bit about them.  And some of it has even stuck with me to this day.  (Let's not bring up all of the things I have FORGOTTEN since that time...)

 

I am talking about a different kind of concentration - not the kind that you use when you harvest a row of green beans (see!  I did it!) or walk rows of potatoes looking for potato beetles to remove.  In those cases, your brain does not have to engage fully in your task.  You can listen to a book tape, have a conversation or just let your mind wander.  The task requires that you keep moving and keep certain senses alert, but concentration is not completely on the task.

Note - those are some nice potato plants in the photo just above us.  See, I tied them into this blog too!  Yay me!

In any event (see Rob try to pull his concentration back into line again), it seems that the next part of my recovery is re-establishing my ability to fully concentrate when I need to.  I've been doing my best to exercise my body and now I find I need to expend more effort on my mind as well.  Yes, it is true that I expect a very high level of concentration when I choose to use it.

So, why has this been a problem for me?  

Well, you could actually argue that it hasn't been a problem because I HAVE been concentrating very hard on recovering from surgery.  Perhaps I dedicated my will-power to that purpose so much that I should not expect to concentrate at a high level on other things?  The lead up to surgery, the worry that is cancer, and the process of healing can be pretty distracting from... well... everything else.

So, I have chosen to accept that this is simply a part of the recovery process and I will work through it so that my concentration will return to where it once was.  And, perhaps, my will-power to use it more readily when I should may grow to a greater capacity than it once was.

Because I appreciate it more now that it I feel it has (temporarily) abandoned me.

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And - here's to a nice day that was a good bit cooler than it has been.  The farm received a little over a half inch of rain on Sunday - something we were needing desperately.   We could have used a bit more, but we know better than to cry for more rain - when we have, we get way to much....

Have a good day and an excellent week everyone!