Why Say "Thank You?"

I am guessing many people who read this blog come from families where writing "Thank You" notes was something parents pushed children to do after someone gave a gift or did something particularly nice.  Yes, I wrote notes after graduation in response to gifts and/or attendance at the traditional gathering.  Yes, we wrote notes to everyone who was kind enough to provide any sort of evidence that they attended our wedding.  And, yes, we try to remember to send notes even now.  But, like so many other people - it doesn't always make the top of a long "to do" list.  Does it count if we feel really guilty about it when we fail to do what we mean to do?

Do chickens say 'thank you?'

It's also fairly common, I think, for families to train their children to be polite and say "thank you."  Sometimes, the "thank you" you get from a child who is being prompted can be less than genuine - but that's part of the learning process and you take it as it comes.  The hope is that eventually each person will learn to show gratitude to others and actually mean it.  Both Tammy and I are very well trained - at least I think we are. 

Our chickens, on the other hand, rarely show gratitude - unless you think laying an egg is the same as giving thanks.  I know we are grateful for the eggs and we DO say 'thank you' to the birds on a regular basis (believe it or not).  And, yes, we do mean it.

But, this got me to thinking (a dangerous pastime).  What, exactly is the purpose of showing evidence of gratitude to others?  Is it only because we want to be polite?  I took note of it recently at a small, local restaurant as we had dinner (have a mentioned that our kitchen is still in destruction mode?).  The server took our orders and brought drinks - so we thanked her for that.  She arrived with our food and we thanked her again.  She checked on us to see if everything was alright and our reply was "yes, thank you."  Would we like more to drink?  "No, thank you."  I think you get the picture.

Did we mean something when we said those two words?  I think I can speak for both of us when I say that we did, in fact, mean to express gratitude for this person's service and appropriate (but not overbearing) attentiveness.  We also said 'thanks' with a tip, but that might be beside the point I am trying to make.

On the other side of things, I realize that I, in particular, am less comfortable receiving thanks from others.  I will certainly do what I should to be gracious and polite.  But, I do tend to deflect it when I receive it.  On the other hand, when I do not receive a 'thank you' in certain situations, I feel its lack.  If I am slightly uncomfortable with praise or gratitude, shouldn't I be relieved of the responsibility for dealing with it when it is not offered?

Upon reflection, I guess I see a thank you as a combination of gratitude and recognition.  When I say 'recognition' I don't mean it in the sense that it is a 'reward.'  Instead, it is simply an acknowledgement that something was done or received and the recipient is aware that it was done.  If you don't get the 'thank you,' you find yourself wondering if  the other person ever got that gift, or that report... or whatever it was.

I am now coming to the conclusion that the chickens may, in fact, say 'thank you,' but I'm not sure if there is an element of gratitude.  It's more of a "yep, got it" response rather than a "oh, it was so nice of you to do that/bring that" reply.  If we give them new straw, they love to kick it around and they do make interested noises.  And, they don't wait to do it.  "Yep, we got this!  New straw to kick around and explore."  They respond rapidly to the presentation of food or scraps as well.  However, we're pretty certain the resulting frenzy is not actually directed at us to reflect thanks or provide an indication that they recognize that we brought it to them.  It's more of a "let me eat this before that other hen eats it" kind of thing.

Now I am hopeful that we, as humans, can do more than the 'thank you' as acknowledgement - unless we think it might be easier to lay an egg.  Given the contortions I've seen some people go through before they offer gratitude, it might require about as much straining and effort to say 'thank you' as it does for a chicken to lay an egg.

So, human, get to the point already.  I, the Sandman, have spoken!

As I wrote this, I found myself wondering if I have neglected offering some 'thank you's' and figure that it is most likely that I have.  So, if I have failed to provide you evidence of my gratitude - please accept my apologies.  And, if you hadn't really noticed, let me thank you anyway!

Thank you for reading this blog and giving useful feedback.
Thank you for supporting our farm and the things we try to do.
Thank you for being willing to consider things that could be done to make this world a better place and then actually acting on them.
Thank you for kind words.
Thank you for shared ideas.
Thank you for doing your best at your job.
Thank you for caring enough to try to do the right thing - whatever that might be - and then thank you for thinking hard about what the right thing is - and THEN - thank you for reconsidering what is right when you find yourself getting too certain that you know it all.
And thank you for being patient when I fail.  I do appreciate the hand up and I'll do what I can to acknowledge it...

with gratitude.