New Year - Same Resolution

Welcome to the new year.  Perhaps you see January 1st as just another day - or maybe you see it as a new start?  In my case, the realist in me tells me that today is no different than any other, but the dreamer still nudges me to treat it as something a bit more special than that.  When I put all of me together, I find that my opinion of New Year's is an odd mix.

But, when it comes down to it - I see the turning of the old year into the new as an opportunity.  And like many opportunities - it will only be as valuable as I make it.

In with the Old

I know the phrase is supposed to be "out with the old and in with the new" and I am here to tell you that we've got it mostly wrong and only partly right.  

"Out with the old" implies the disposal of something that no longer has value.  It emphasizes the negative and encourages us to forget lessons that could be valuable for us as we travel through our lives.  It pushes a narrative of failure, pain, and suffering and discourages us from looking for the balancing positives.  

Out with the old?  Does that mean we throw it all out with the trash?  Even a diamond can look less appealing when it is surrounded with coffee grounds and rotting banana peels. 

I do not mind the idea of using the new year to give the bad things less power in our lives.  So, if by "out with the old" you mean getting rid of a grudge I hold against someone and Tammy being freed from an Achilles injury - I can get behind that.

But, I also want to say "in with the old" by taking the insights that come with the recovery from a major surgery as we go forward into the new year.  I say "in with the old" when I think about the grudge I held a bit differently by looking at how I might have been hurt and how I can avoid hurting someone else in the same way.

Maybe it should just be "in with the new perspective on the old."  But, that doesn't really roll off the tongue does it?

And, what about all of the truly WONDERFUL things we got to experience in the past year?  Out with the old?  Nope! Sorry!  These good things still have value for me and I don't see a good reason for tossing them out either. 

 In with the New

It's a nice sentiment to make it sound like we all enter the year with a clean slate.  But, I suspect this is why so few people actually succeed with their New Year's resolutions.  We temporarily deceive ourselves by thinking that the baggage of days past won't draw us back.  Oh, we might be able to leave it by the side of the road for a week or two - but it isn't too long before all of that stuff either finds legs and tracks us down or we get pulled back to it because...  Well, it is still a part of who we are.

Even so, I still admit to feeling some of the illogical power that comes with the end of one year and beginning of another.  And to top it off, I don't really think that's all a bad thing either.

Reflect on the Old, Build for the New

Here's were the pragmatist meets the idealist - I like to take a practical approach towards the energy that comes with the new year.  It's a perfect time to review and reflect on the past year and remind myself of the things that helped me become who I am now.

There are a few wounds that are still quite tender, and it makes no sense for me to spend time probing them just to cause more pain.  There are also other things where I have yet to find a good balance - so I can just nod at them in passing.  The rest is full of all sorts of insight and joy and pain and relief and...  whatever else.  Much of this is ready for me to find closure.  And some of it is ready for me to build more.

And there's the value that the turning of the year has for me.  It's a natural point for me to assess the progress I have made on the building that is my life - and to figure out what I should do to correct problems and how I can accentuate the good things.

Resolved 

My "resolution" has been this for the past few years:

My resolution is to continue to work on being better at understanding what others are seeing so I might have a chance to recognize what motivates them to do and say what they do.  And, I will also listen better to what people might say about me and where I am, so I can appreciate the good things from a different perspective and contemplate what is in need of my attention so I can make changes.

Did I succeed?  

The answer is a "yes," because I DID work to do these things and I STILL work to do these things.  But, I also feel that I have tried to do this for much of my life.  Sometimes fairly well.  Sometimes very poorly.  And I know I never will be perfect at any of it - which is why it remains a good resolution for me in the coming year.

This year, I added something to it - but it isn't new either:

I am resolved to keep learning new things and seeking new understandings for the things I've already learned.  I am also resolved to help others to learn as best as I am able.

I don't think it's a bad thing at all to have a resolution that affirms what I've believed all along.  Do you?

It's all a part of building.  Reflecting on the old - identifying the faults and taking note of the strengths.  Then, building for the new - remembering the vision of where we want to be and doing our best to get there. 

Happy New Year everyone.