Something to Crow About

Three crows loved to sit around in the alley behind the local butcher shop.  There was a fence that surrounded the garbage cans and a few other odds and ends.  These three birds would perch on the fence, or the handle of the push mower that leaned on it.  They made sure to be there most days around 7 am because that was when the butcher would toss out the meat that had passed the expiration date.  After all, crow diets aren't regulated in the same way ours are and they don't care if the label says the food is too old.

 Crow picture copyright Ryan Schain, Macaulay Library

On this particular day, the butcher and their apprentice walked out with a bunch of sausages of all sorts.  As they walked to the garbage, the butcher told the apprentice, "We need to throw these so no one gets sick."  They tossed the sausages into the can and walked away.  The crows noticed that the apprentice forgot to put the lid back on.

"Hmmmm," said crow number one, "I think we've got a feast today!"

"I dunno," replied the third crow, "dinna ya hear 'im say it coulda make sommun sick?"

"Pffffff!  We've never gotten sick before, I'm going to go eat as much as I want!"  So, the first bird flew off of the lawn mower and landed on the trash can.  And he ate... and ate... and ate - while the other crows watched.   Eventually, the first crow belched and then struggled to fly back to his perch on the mower handle.

The other two crows sat there for a while longer - waiting to be sure that the first crow would be okay after eating all of the 'past date' sausage.  When it became apparent that he was likely going to be fine, they both flew off of the fence, landed on the edge of the trash can and ate... and ate.... and ate.

Once they were full, they both belched and then struggled to fly up to their perches on the fence.

After a while, the first crow roused himself and stretched a little.  "I'm going to try to fly some of this off - that was quite a feast!  Aren't you glad you listened to me?"

The other crows were so full they just kind of nodded slowly - but they didn't say anything in reply.

The first crow stretched his wings and took off.  He flew up off of the mower handle, up above the rooftops of the buildings that bordered the alley.  They could see him as he started to circle when suddenly....

There was a loud "POP" and the first crow exploded!   Feathers slowly drifted back down into the alley and down onto the ground.  A few even floated in front of the other two crows.

"Well, there ya have it!" said the third crow.  "He shouda knowed ya never shoulda fly offen the handle when yer fulla baloney!"