People seemed to be having fun sipping hot chocolate and enjoying stories. So, since I have a few more ready to go - let's just keep sharing the Faux Real Stories. Enjoy!
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Once
upon a time there lived a family who had a backyard that was
filled with one too many trees. The mighty pin oak and the
sprawling locust had left very little sky for the maple tree to
reach into with its sparsely covered branches. While the tree had, in
fact, grown to a respectable 20 feet in height and had a 3 inch
diameter trunk, it was a bit sickly and was judged to be
entirely too close to the humans' abode anyway.
The decree came down from the parents of
the household that the tree should be removed. And this task fell to
their first child on a fine June day. Out he marched, with a
saw and a branch pruner, determined to reward the trust placed
in him to do the task efficiently and thoroughly.
Taking
the tree down in manageable portions, it was soon reduced to a
pile of brush. But, what should he do to prepare its transport
to the city brush pile? The solution came in the form of one
cardboard box that was slated for disposal. This box had once held
an artificial Christmas tree.
What better container to use for a
downed maple?
In a careful and well thought out manner,
the tree was cut into lengths that were very nearly a perfect fit for
the length of the box. Any side branches were cut off of each
limb. As a result, all of the larger branches and the trunk
were placed lengthwise in the box. And, happily, there was
still plenty of room!
In went the small branches, covered with
leaves. Anything that didn't fit well was trimmed down until it did.
By mid-afternoon, there was no pile in the yard and probably no air pockets in the box.
No tree and just one box -
complete with a lid that barely fit over the contents - sat waiting in the back yard for parental approval.
Upon the father's return from work, he went
to the backyard and wondered out loud where the brush from the tree
had gone. His son, of course, proudly pointed to the box.
"Son," he said evenly, "have you tried to move that box yet?"
To make a long story less long - it took
a makeshift ramp and both of us to wrangle the box into the vehicle.
Getting it out again was only a little less difficult. To this
day, I wonder if Dad didn't force the transfer of brush to
other boxes just to temper the disappointment I might have felt
if we had done so.
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