You know it's cold when...

• the battery in your outdoor thermometer freezes
• icicles form on your scarf after just 15 minutes outside
• a high of 5 degrees Fahrenheit sounds warm
• there is a duck in your kitchen (again)
• it takes you a half hour to put on/take off the layers you wear when you go outside
• chicken eggs chip the cement when you throw them against it - but the egg doesn't break
• water droplets tossed from a mug bounce when they hit the ground
• breathing through your mouth makes you cough and through your nose freezes your nostrils shut
• your cat won't move from her box near the radiator
• a 5 mile per hour breeze feels like gale-forced winds
• the soles of your boots don't bend with your feet like you're used to them doing
• you have to turn your whole body to look for something that is a bit to your right, just so you can see it (consider the scarf, hood, etc...)
• even the sun dogs are trying to get inside
• you can almost see the needle on the home's propane tank go down (but that might be the icicle growing on your eyelashes)
• you can actually feel the difference between -30 degrees F and -20 degrees F
• what you thought was the sound of a bird chattering away was just its knees knocking together
• baling wire breaks when you try to bend it
  
• you feel better only after you remind yourself of the winter you spent in Duluth where the temps didn't get above zero for the whole month of January...