It Must Be All About Me

I do not particularly care much for spending time on Facebook or other social media sites.  It's not that I don't understand why people might enjoy them.  But, it just isn't my thing.  I suppose a big part of it is the fact that I am a bit of an analytic.  I prefer to think on things a bit more and I don't like to flit around too much.  So, it feels like that's what's happening on social media sites all the time.  It's just not me.

And yet, I have seen this photo/meme several times now and I actually have read it a couple of times.

"The people we surround ourselves with either raise or lower our standards. They either help us to become the best version of ourselves or encourage us to become lesser versions of ourselves. We become like our friends. No man becomes great on his own. No woman becomes great on her own. The people around them help to make them great.

We all need people in our lives who raise our standards, remind us of our essential purpose, and challenge us to become the best version of ourselves."

from the Rhythm of Life by Matthew Kelly

I am often bothered by the lack of citation given by many who put these things on Facebook, so I hunted it down. 

Mr. Kelly has an agenda in his writing here, of course.  And, I don't necessarily disagree with what this implies.  Evidence in my own life has shown me that others certainly have influence over what I do and how well I do it.  In fact, I readily give credit to many, MANY other people for giving me a boost when I needed it and/or provided me with a model to follow.  And, yes, it certainly is easier to reach goals with positive people around you to challenge you to do your best in everything you do.

But, the negative implications here are threefold:
1. You should exclude those who will not be a benefit to you.  Unless, of course, you want to be a failure.
2. It's all about ME.  There is no reason to concern yourself with supporting someone else.
3. I should not concern myself with being an agent for change in others unless that change is to collect the proper friends and discard the improper ones.

I suspect Mr. Kelly doesn't want people to come to those conclusions.  After all, any time we try to boil wisdom down into a paragraph or two (or a sentence... or two words) we are encouraging conclusions that may not be consistent with what we were hoping to lead to.  Perhaps if we read all of his book, we might find a balance to this - some sort of discussion about our role and responsibility in and for the lives of others.

But, since we don't have that here, I will leave you with an addendum of my own.

Help those around you to become the best version of themselves that they can be.  Help them to raise their standards.  Help them to remember their essential purposes in life.  Positively challenge them to do and be their best.  And, in so doing, you will have achieved.  And perhaps, so will they.