Kind, Nice ... Kinda Nice?

When a person works with words as often as I have over the past couple of years, it is only natural that I might take a few moments to consider the fine distinctions between two words.  For example, I was contemplating the difference between "nice" and "kind."  

I think most of us would initially feel like those two things are interchangeable.  But, once you think about it a bit more, you realize that they are not.  Kind is usually something more than nice.

I put a picture of some day lilies from last July in this blog.  Those flowers are quite nice, don't you think?  However, I suspect you would agree that they aren't necessarily kind.  On the other hand, it was nice of me to put flowers in this blog.  But, was it kind?

nice : pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory

        : pleasing; agreeable; delightful:

kind: having or showing a friendly, generous, and considerate nature 

       : of a good or benevolent nature or disposition,

Kind implies that there is a particular motivation behind an action, whereas nice does not.  You can be nice and say all of the right words, hold the door open for others and smile when you are supposed to.  But, you can do all of that and not be kind at all.

For example, you can say "thank you" to someone else because you are supposed to say "thank you."  It is the nice thing to do.  You can say thank you because you don't want other people to think you don't have manners.  You can say thank you because you don't want other people to grumble about your lack of gratitude.

Or you can say thank you because you really are grateful - and that would be kind.  Because the motivation is to communicate honest and heartfelt gratitude - rather than to simply look good to others.

So, is the placement of daylilies in this blog nice, kind or both?  

If you like flowers, these are definitely nice.  If you don't?  Well, maybe you might still find the composition of the picture to be pleasing or nice.  Or - I suppose, you don't find it nice at all because it reminds you that it is January and there AREN'T day lilies blooming where you are right now.

My motivation for placing them here is to give all of us who are currently experiencing Winter a little bit of color and a reminder that there are days when these flowers will grace us again with their presence.  I am hopeful it will cheer you up.  Or, failing that, it might give you strength to get through whatever you are currently dealing with because it symbolizes the possibility of better things.

I shared these photos in hopes that it was a kind thing to do.  But, maybe kind is not always nice, just as nice is not always kind.

If you have ever heard the terms "Iowa Nice" or "Minnesota Nice," you might recognize that these are not necessarily complimentary descriptions.  People who work so hard to make sure everything is always pleasant and polite to maintain the appearance of BEING nice has the motivation of worrying about what others think of you.

Me?  I would rather we be "Iowa Kind" and worry about trying to do the right thing for others.  If the kind thing to do is to point out a problem to someone else, then we should do just that.  We don't have to be nasty about it.  But, sometimes, it would be unkind to sugarcoat the problem just so it goes down easy.

So, what do you think?  Was this blog entry nice?  Or kind?  Or just kinda nice? 

Have a kind day everyone!

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I recognize that many have taken on the nice/kind distinction before me, so I took a little time to hunt a few online articles down on the subject to see what others had to say.  This article was interesting as it points out that working to be "too nice" may actually be unhealthy.  Or, more accurately, when our motivation for being nice is to gain approval, this becomes a problem.

No wonder I keep saying that thinking is a dangerous pastime!