Stuck on You - Friday Faux Real Stories

 

Rob and Tammy had actually been growing produce and raising poultry on the Genuine Faux Farm for six seasons before they added a building, called a high tunnel, to their farm during the seventh such season (2010).  A high tunnel is a hoop building that uses the solar gain provided by a plastic covering to extend the in-soil growing season both at the beginning and the end of the year.

The first high tunnel was put up in July of that year, too late for an early Spring crop - but plenty of time for us to go 'all in' for our late Fall and early Winter crops.  The picture you see above is what the building looked like on November 5 of that year.  The building was full of lettuce, kale, spinach, collards, mustard greens and a few other things.  It was about this time (early November) that we started harvesting from the building for our extended Fall season CSA shares.  

The field crops were done - so this was it.  We had to make these things, along with any storage crops we had, work for the rest of the year's farm income.

This high tunnel has a metal frame for both the hoops and the end walls and a single layer of plastic for the cover.  On a sunny day, temperatures can get quite warm despite cold temperatures outside the building.  However, once the sun sinks below the horizon, the thin covering will not hold the heat for long.  And, yes, the walls themselves can actually be at temperatures below freezing while the area near the soil is well above freezing during the day.

All in all, the high tunnel, which we dubbed "Eden" worked pretty well - allowing us to harvest up to the week before Christmas.  But, harvest was not without its perils.

The Scenario
Temperatures during the first week of December were in the low single digits (Fahrenheit).  The sun was out and there was not much wind - both of which I considered a blessing.  I had to pick for the extended season CSA shares and the crops were all in the unheated high tunnel.

In order to harvest all of this leafy green goodness, the temperatures needed to get warm enough so that I wasn't picking frozen greens.  With the sun out, temperatures had reached 40 degrees by 11:00 AM and it made it to 58 degrees for a brief time at the peak of the day.  After my check of the temperature at 11, I figured I could start harvest at noon.

So, I worked outside the high tunnel for awhile.  Just because there is snow on the ground and it is cold, that doesn't mean there aren't things the farmer has to do.  There are chickens that need food and water.  Eggs need to be collected.  Some things needed to be moved.  It's just the way it is.  

In the process of doing all that work, I got some snow on my black coat.  That's normal too.  No big deal.  So, I went to the Truck Barn and collected the harvest equipment - then I trudged through the snow toward Eden.

Some of the crops had an extra cover on them, which I had to remove.  There was a little moisture there as well and that landed on me and my coat.  Once again - not a big deal.  It happens all the time.

I proceeded to do the harvest, picking the various greens into each of their designated tubs, being careful to pick enough so each person would get their fair share of the produce.  After about an hour of harvest, I decided to stand up at the end of a row, next to one of the end walls.  I needed to stretch out my back - so I lifted my arms to the sky, arched my back and.....

Review of the Facts

Let's remind you of a few things before we continue with the story.  Rob wears a black coat.  Black tends to collect heat from the sun.  Rob's coat had moisture from melted snow and water from the row covers.  The end walls of the high tunnel have metal.  The walls are much cooler than the air in the high tunnel - probably well below freezing.

Back to the Story
Ahem.... as I was saying...

I needed to stretch my back - so I lifted my arms to the sky, arched my back and... the back of my damp coat touched the metal supports on the end wall.  The end wall's temperature was below freezing, the coat was wet and.... the coat adhered to the metal.

The Thought Process
Hmmmmm.  I appear to be stuck to the metal on the end wall.   I'm glad that wasn't my tongue....or my hand.  You know what?  I appear to be really stuck to this wall.  Why was my back so wet?  Oh yeah, snow melted.  You know, I should give it a bit more of a tug.  

Oy, that's on there good.  I hope I don't rip the coat.  Maybe I should just unzip the coat and worm out of it?  You know, it might be a bit silly if my coat has to stay on this wall until warmer weather.  But, it could be sillier still if I just stayed here....

And It Got Even Sillier

Now, you need to get a little bit better picture of what this must have looked like.  I was standing up against the wall and my hands were up just a bit over my head level and my elbows were bent.  Almost as if this was a 'hold-up' and I was the victim.  Oh - wait.  That's exactly what this was.  I was being held up and at the mercy of our new high tunnel.

The coat was a zip-up coat, so there was no way I was going to reach down with my hands to unzip the coat and step out of it.  My cell phone was in a side pocket of my jeans that resided just above my knee.  Once again, there was no way I was going to be able to reach that.  And, if I did... who do you call?  And once you do call someone... what do you say?

"Hello.  I'm stuck to the wall of our high tunnel and I can't get out?"  After the giggle fit the recipient of the call was bound to have, I am sure they would suggest that I figure it out on my own.

I tried to ask Doughboy, the farm supervisor cat, for a little help.  He just yawned and proceeded to sit down to watch what I would do next.  Some help.

So, I figured I had two choices.  I could try to worm out of the coat by bending my knees and wriggling out the bottom of the coat.  Then, I would leave my coat there until the Spring thaw.  Or, I could just leave the coat on and use a bit more force to pull myself free.  I supposed it might rip the coat - but that's better than waiting until our customers called Tammy to tell her I was absent from the delivery four hours later.

So, I lifted one leg up to help get some momentum and tore myself free.  There was some pilling from the back of the coat still attached to the end wall, but otherwise the coat seemed fine and continued to serve me well after that point.

And, since that time, I always stretch my back when I'm in the middle of the building.