Being Positive Ain't Easy

It's easy to be angry.  It's not hard to get upset when you see people being mean, cruel and thoughtless.  It is way too simple to find fault with someone else or someone else's idea, especially when you were not inclined to think that way in the first place.  Heck, it's also pretty common to get a bit jealous when someone else either beats you to the punch with an idea you like or they actually get that project you tried years ago (and failed) to work.  

It is remarkably difficult to focus on good things when it feels like there is so much to be unhappy about.   Simply put - being positive ain't easy.

This blog opened up with a photo that I really think is pretty neat.  The skies are gorgeous.  And, the backlit sunflower plant just adds a neat contrast to the whole thing.  I've been walking past this particular sunflower (and a few others) every morning and every evening as I do the farm chores.  For good measure, I might go by it at other times of the day too.

Here is what I've caught myself thinking or feeling as I walked by this plant during the days prior to our "brief escape" from the farm and our jobs. 

• I've been sad because I see some of the flowers wilting, and I concentrate on how short the period is for these plants to look fabulous each season.
• I've been disappointed because we did not plant as many sunflowers this year as we did last year.
• I've dwelt on my own failure to identify a workable plan for the 2022 growing season and execute it sufficiently.
• I wondered when I would actually let myself stop and really admire this plant in particular, because I was just too busy.

I thought that last one during the evening chores, on a day just prior to that brief escape I mentioned.  I actually recognized at that moment what I was doing and I stopped.

I turned around.

I walked back to the house and grabbed the camera.

And I recorded a moment where I recognized beauty.   I recorded a moment where I saw things differently.  I recorded a moment - where I realized I was... kind of pleased with myself.

And with the sunflowers on the farm.

And with how well Tammy and I have been able to navigate this year's difficulties - including recognizing and acting on the need to just get away, if only briefly.

Then I took this picture of some artwork and a nice card that we have received over the last year or so from some of our young friends.  And, I realized I needed to relearn something that these neat kids seem to know better than those of us who call ourselves adults do.

So, I wrote a kind note to a person I only know in passing because I heard their father had passed away.

I wrote a note to Tammy and mailed it to her because... I wanted to.

I answered someone's question in an online group that everyone else seemed to be ignoring - and did so with kindness and respect (at least as well as I knew how).

I stopped myself from writing a blog post that focused on things that weren't going well in the world and I wrote something that promoted curiosity for nature and learning new things.

I thanked someone for holding the door open for me and then I held another door open for someone else not long after that.... and they thanked me.

Now I nod and murmur a thank you to this particular sunflower plant for its perspective against the dramatic skies that got me to adjust my thinking - every time I go by.

• We learned that someone dealing with long Covid was able to finally find a procedure that brought relief and we celebrate this healing.
• The Barn Swallows at the farm have reached numbers we have not experienced since 2007 - and we were able to watch last evening as they wheeled about the skies of the farm.  And the dragonflies darted around, hoping the Barn Swallows wouldn't try them out for tastiness.
• The small batch of watermelons we planted this year are ripening and we've already tasted one and found it quite good.  This is the first time in a few years we've had watermelon on the farm.
• We have frozen corn, beans, peas, asparagus, broccoli and blueberries so we will have them through the rest of the year and we've canned peaches too!
  
• Our pear tree finally... yes finally... produced a nice batch of fruit.  And we actually got around to harvesting before they fell and were eaten by various critters that do such things.
  

Yes.  Being positive ain't easy.  It requires work.  It's difficult.  Especially when you want the good things to have real depth and meaning, rather than a surface coating of sugar that masks the bitterness.  For that to happen, we have to accept that plans don't go as expected, people can become ill or injured, we're often too busy to see good things around us, and sunflowers fade with time.  Even while we recognize that bad things happen and even good things can make us have mixed feelings, these imperfections make these things real for us.