It's Easy - Except, um, For That

There are times in your life when you aren't going to be there to do that thing that you always do.  And, when that happens, you have to find someone else who is willing to do that thing.  It's at that moment that you realize, you and the things you do just aren't normal.

These feelings of being abnormal are exceptionally strong if you happen to run a small-scale, diversified farm.  In the first place, if you are this type of farmer, it's actually outside YOUR norm to be away from the farm at the moment the chores (or some other farm task) needs to be done.  But when you are going to be away, as we were when we took a breather in July, you find yourself having to explain to someone else exactly what it is you MUST do every day - and how to do it.

The must do actually isn't so difficult because, if we are like any other person who does this sort of thing, we work extra hard leading up to the moment we will be away so the "must do" list is as short as it can possibly be.  It's actually the "how to do" part that makes us wonder what people think of us AFTER we give the full explanation.

Case in point:

Farmer:  Ok, you need to feed the chickens in the morning.  

Kind Helper Person: Sure, I can do that.  Doesn't seem hard.

F: No. No, it isn't all that hard.  But, let's run out and I'll show you where everything is.

KHP: Ok.  Sounds good.

**** F and KHP both head towards the granary ****

F: Alright.  The food bin is in the granary.  The hard part is going to be opening the roll up door on the granary.

KHP: Ooooookay?

F: Yes.  The door has a latch here.  But, that latch won't release unless you push the door down there first.  You see, the cement is uneven here and you need push down to remove some of the tension on the latch.  Let me show you once.

**** F easily opens the door successfully and then closes it.  ****

F: Ok, you try it.

**** KHP reaches for door ****

F: Um, before you do that, I should warn you.  Don't let go of that rope when you open the door.

KHP: Oh.  Yeah, I guess I saw you holding on to it.

F: Yes.  You need to hold it firmly.  This is a roll-up door and if it gets away from you it will shoot up to the top and slam into the roll.  That could be bad.

KHP: Bad?

F: Yup.  I suppose it could jump off of the mount up there and come crashing down on your head.

Concerned KHP: On...my... head.

F: Oh, don't worry too much about it.  That's never happened since we've been here.  Well, there was that one guy, but that doesn't really count.  Just hold on to the rope and don't let it get away from you.

Very CKHP: Sure.... hold on to the rope....

F: Well, I mean.  If it SHOULD get away from you, step quickly away from the door in case it DOES jump off of the mount.  

VERY VCKHP:  I'm not sure I should do this.

F: Ok.  Look.  It's safe.  You just need to slow it down a little.  Even if it slips out of your hands a bit, it won't have enough momentum to hop out.... I think.   Anyway, you'll be fine.

All of this could be very amusing to the farmers if they didn't REALLY NEED someone to provide the help.  And, so far, no one has been crushed by a falling roll-up door, even if they did let it get away from them.  And, if they did, none of them have had the courage to report that this has actually happened.

Now - wait until I tell them they should not stand where they are because they could fall through the floor.