The Best Medicine

They say that laughter is the best medicine.  And, if it is not laughter, then it might be cats.  The list for New Year's Eve from the Genuine Faux Farm will include plenty of both.  Well, ok.  WE think some of these might make some people laugh.  If you don't think they're funny, you can just laugh at us for thinking they are funny.  

Mission accomplished either way!

Each entry will include a link to the blog followed by a quote from the blog so you can get a taste of what might be waiting for you should you elect to take that link. And, just like all of our other GFF lists - this one starts at 11!

11. VAP Angst

I have certainly considered making a VUP (Very Unambitious Plan), but when I want to make a VUP, I usually don't have the motivation to do it (get it?  Huh huh?!?).  

10.  Bang for Your Buck

Would I have put this in the blog if the only two signs were "Mole Catcher" and "Frog Juggler?"  Probably not.  "Chicken Whisperer" might have encouraged me to share this picture in a blog post on our poultry...but I would probably forget to do so.

But, when you add "Squirrel Matador 1800-800-OLE" to the list?  There's the bang for your buck.  Hoorah for the squirrel matador!

 9. More Lost Writings of the Sandman 

"Public transportation should be about comfortable feet.  If your feet are cold, find a farmer."

And now you know.  Uncomfortable feet?  Find a farmer - that'll fix it!

8.  The Bunny Trap

One day, the neighbors noticed the cute little bunnies in the bunny nest. "Aren't they cute? Would you like to pet them?"

 

"No. No, thank you."  Even then, they had beady eyes.  Never trust a critter with beady eyes.  Especially when vegetables are on the line.

 

The neighbor's dog noticed the cute little bunnies just outside their bunny nest a week later.

 

"Aren't they cute? Would you like to taste them?"

"Yes, I would," said the dog.

 

Run bunnies! Run! Run dog! Run!

7. It's Easy, Except Um, For That

All of this could be very amusing to the farmers if they didn't REALLY NEED someone to provide the help.  And, so far, no one has been crushed by a falling roll-up door, even if they did let it get away from them.  And, if they did, none of them have had the courage to report that this has actually happened.

Now - wait until I tell them they should not stand where they are because they could fall through the floor.

6. Taught I Taw a Puddy Tat

He was big enough to reach up and turn door knobs and he shocked both of us one day when one of us asked, "I wonder if cats can wink?"  And Strider promptly winked at us.  At another point we noticed some flies buzzing against the screen door and one of us wondered out loud if cats would eat a fly.  Once again, Strider obliged.We're not sure if that showed intelligence or ... something else... you can decide.

5.  Where is That Button?

I've taken them apart, replaced lids, fixed floats, removed them and installed them.  But, I still can't find that @#@% button that must be somewhere on the toilet that tells people that my rear end just hit the seat and it is now time for them to call me.

4.  Inspector's Findings

How important is dignity to a cat?

What is it with your questions for today?  A cat is ALWAYS dignified because a cat is always doing what it wants to do when it wants to do it.  How can that NOT be dignified.

(The farmer attempts to explain that it has to do with a picture of him accepting a belly-rub...)

You're offering a belly-rub?  Ok.

(After a belly-rub, the farmer attempts to explain.... one more time)

Let's see.  You're telling me that you offering a belly-rub and me deciding I like that idea is somehow undignified?  I did get you to do something I like when I wanted it didn't I?

(The farmer concedes the point.)

3. Genuine Faux Farm to English Dictionary v. 1

Skritch - our cats like to get a good skritch now and then.  You do not scratch a cat, they scratch you - especially if you don't skritch them properly (and often enough). 

Skritcher - any tool used to scratch up the ground and make life more difficult for weeds. Officially, a skritcher has tines - but we stretch the definition for saddle hoes, wire weeders, etc.

2. It Must Be That Time Again

 Moms everywhere will be pleased to hear that we are going to expand our dandelion farming operation.  Children from all over the state will be invited to come pick a pocket of yellow posies to give to their mother - expecting that she will exclaim over their beauty and put them in a vase or glass with water (until she can find a time to sneak them back out of the kitchen later on).

1. Chewing Gum and Baling Wire

As a side note: T-posts are not recommended for use as a mulch.  Grasses, in particular, always find a way to grow around them and will eventually obscure your t-post mulch project.  Then, one day, you will forget about the project and try to mow down that tall patch of grass.  

Yeah.  Not a good solution.

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There you have it!  The Genuine Faux Farm top 11 countdown of blog posts for 2021 that qualify for the "Best Medicine" Award.  

I hope you found a chuckle or two - and maybe even a little bit of a snort.  Perhaps we caught you drinking and a little bit came out of your nose if we caught you at the right moment.

No?

Well, we'll do better next time.  

Enjoy your remaining moments of 2021 - and here's to a wonderful 2022 for all of us!