Researcher or Research Subject?

I was cleaning the turkey room recently (preparing for a new flock in 2023) and came across something that concerns me a little bit.  I found some paper - and it was not paper that was shredded for bedding.  This paper had writing that had been put there in a chicken-scratch hand... er... no... a turkey-scratch hand that looked like it was intended for someone other than the farmer.

This document had been made to look like one of our turkeys wrote it and we're not sure who might have placed it there.  The alternative - that one of our turkeys actually wrote this - is a bit more disturbing than we are willing to admit.  So, we're wondering if you all could weigh in on the matter and give us some advice.

Here's what was on the paper:

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Staff Writer: Ima Turkey

Individuals looking for an entertaining afternoon should look no further than the Genuine Faux Farm. We have found the guy with the red hat to be extremely amusing as he runs around the farm. In fact, we are conducting a study to find out what sorts of actions/sounds he can be made to respond to (see Pavlov and others). Since he is not really an intelligent being (unlike us turkeys), we have no fear that he will figure out that we are conducting experiments regarding his behavior.

 

Observations thus far:

• Subject tends to mumble audibly when one of us flies onto or over the fences
• Subject will hesitate in making a choice chasing us (when we're outside the fence) if we divide our numbers and go in opposite directions
• Subject makes strange "hahaha" sounds whenever we run to/fro our room and the gate in the morning.  We think it is a nervous tic of some kind.
• Subject tends to throw yummy produce to locations in the field where one of us is NOT located, though he does tend to have a left/right/forward/back pattern.
• Subject can be trained to bring more tomatoes and cucumbers by eating them quickly.   Similarly, the subject seems to reduce offerings of other food types if we show less enthusiasm.  Have not yet managed to get ice cream.
• Subject appears to have limited language ability.  Has attempted to respond to "crowd gobbles."  Enunciation is terrible.  We highly doubt the subject has understanding of the meaning of the words.
• Subject has been trained to allow us to drink out of the hose periodically.  However, Muck learned that subject isn't terribly steady with the hose after getting a face full of water.  Subject has not shown consistency in allowing us to drink out of the hose.  We continue to work on finding a proper prompting action to elicit the desired response.
• Subject appears to respond to sunrise and sunset with certain activities, including bringing us food and water at sunrise and coming out to see us into our room at night.  Has apparently imprinted on us.  Though subject does show independence - thank goodness.  Who would want to deal with THAT all day and night?
• Subject has been trained to respond and come into view on certain calls, but appears unaware of the desired response once in view.  We remind ourselves that we must take baby-steps in this process.
• Subject appears to be unaware of our scientific endeavors - our ruse continues to be successful.

We expect to make a final report to the community in December regarding this study.
Respectfully,
Ima Turkey

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Well, there you have it.  Once again, advice would be appreciated.

I don't know what exactly was going to happen in December, but I think it might be a good thing we had a trip to "the park" scheduled before that.