Our indoor supervisors, Bree and Hobnob (Hob is no longer with us) often got a bit tired of me trying out jokes and puns on them. They told me by simply giving me "the look" that I needed to find a new audience. Guess what? YOU are the new audience. Aren't you lucky?
Well, you'll be really lucky if you
get to the end of this post (which is highly recommended if you can
stand it).
Mood Assessment
Let's start by assessing everyone's mood.
I warn you in advance, you just might find yourself visiting every single one of these moods on the scale of cat over the next few minutes. I can only hope if you get stuck on number 4 or number 8 that you don't know where I live or you don't have the energy to hunt me down after. If you land on number 3, I want you to know that I've already started running.
Unfortunately, I am a farmer, so I really have a hard time trying to figure out where I fall on the scale of cat. After all, if you believe the graphic shown above, it changes moment by moment.
In my case, I think I follow a progression from 1 to 9 most days - although I might move #7 to the end.
You might be curious about where I was landing, as far as the cat scale is concerned, when I wrote this particular entry. Well, I suspect I was wavering on the border between #3 and #6. Once I was done with it, I am pretty sure I landed back at #1.
So, onto more serious business. We've been discussing the legal structure of the Genuine Faux
Farm. We are thinking that we should change our farm name simply
because I want to be able to put these initials at the end of my name:
Hey, let's be honest here. We can name me the CIEIO even if we DON'T change the farm name. It's our farm and we can do what we want.... sort of.
Our next trick is to determine what CIEIO stands for. Some thoughts include:
Chief Informal Executive Involving Onions
Credible Information Exists In Observation
Crumpled Iguana Ears Ignore Owls
I'd love a few more ideas - so have at it in the comments!
The Sandman used to always let me try out jokes on him. He usually
encouraged me to keep them to myself. Regardless, the following
illustration made me think of the Sandman. I wonder if he really was a
dragon using an illusion spell? I wouldn't have put it past him.
Once I saw the typo I just could NOT help myself.
I decided I should milk this for all it was worth! Gather around like cattle and ye shall be HERD!
Dear Diary,
Today I went to the farm to ruminate about ruminants. I thought they might have a beef with me, but it turns out this was the udder kind of bovine. I met a cow and gave it the nick-name "Cuddles," but it turns out that this reference turned the cow's stomachs (all of them).
I tried to cross the
field without touching the ground by leaping from the back of one young
cow to another. After that, I took stock of the situation and realized
my calves were sore. Now THEY had a beef with me. I guess it was time
to moooooove on.
I was wondering how farmers select a bull to mate with a cow and figured
they must have gone to a meet market of some kind. One guy tried to
tell me that he had a batch of chicks and some young calves that shared a
pasture. After a while one young rooster took a liking to one of the
bullocks, riding on its back from place to place. He said they went
everywhere together, including the county fair. I decided that had to
be a cock and bull story.
I realize that many people have not been exposed to the story about the
cow that got a foot caught in a trap and had to have its hoof removed.
Removing a hoof is the equivalent of taking off ones toes, it has to be
difficult to adapt to. It was made worse by the fact that the other
cows ostracized the hoofless cow. Apparently, they were lack toes
intolerant. Yes, that's the untoed story.
So, now I HAVE milked this for all it's worth. Why?
Because you have just experienced "deja moo" - the feeling that you have heard this cow pun before.
Now, go take a nap. It's pasture bedtime.
Moo comment.
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