Not Clued In

I wonder sometimes if I live in a universe that is different from the one everyone else lives in.  I see something that was written or shared and I think, "Wow! That's really good and is deserving of some attention.  Maybe it could make a difference if a few people saw/read/heard that."  And then, it goes nowhere.  

Instead, I see things that are sensationalized getting all of the attention.  I see people who put themselves up as icons and influencers - perfection personified - and many happily follow them, much to our collective detriment.

But, I think everyone who has ever read anything I've written will recognize this about me.  I am often drawn to complexities and things that honor them.  I like to read informational pieces that present details and links to excellent resources and that can be verified.  I prefer opinion items that are balanced and recognize a wide range of viewpoints without belittling others.  I usually listen to music that includes neat little "fills" or musical details that aren't highlighted in the "front" of the song.  I enjoy cartoons that can be interpreted more than one way - or that interpret something in a different way.

I'm just not clued in, I guess.

I'm like Mr. Aubergine, I want to learn things AND I understand that there is always more to learn.  Always curious.  And the only thing I am certain of is that I don't understand much of anything perfectly.

And I live in a world where so many other folks appear to understand EVERYTHING perfectly.  And even if they don't (and even if they know they don't) - they'll still act like they do.

I'm not clued in.

I know a lot about postal history.  But, the subject is too large and I know there is so much I do not know.

I know a fair amount about adult education (that's part of what my PhD is in).  But, I've never managed to perform a task in adult education without an error.

I even have expended significant time learning about the pesticide problem and about Earth-friendly growing methods that work with nature.  And, I still stumble over a term or concept here and there and failure on our farm occurs on a monthly, and sometimes daily, basis.

I write fairly often and reasonably well, yet I still find errors in my text after proof-reading more than once.

Yet, there are all of these personalities showing us they KNOW exactly how everything should be - how it all should go.  Trying to influence us to be that way too.

Hiding the flaws that you and I actually know are there.

Well, folks.  I am not clued into that.  

I will actually allow myself to admit that I am pretty good at some things.  I have a fair amount of knowledge in a few things.  I am decent at learning.  I am willing to take complexities head-on.  There are times when maybe it would be good if others listen to my ideas or opinions.  Our farm has actually done pretty well over the years - even if it hasn't been perfectly executed.

And I am flawed.  I can be short-sighted at times.  I don't always have the energy to follow through with things I know I need to do.  I don't express my opinion sometimes when I should and other times when I shouldn't.  

Part of what motivates me to keep learning and continue to work on being a better person is my growing awareness of what I know and what I do NOT know.  My ability to recognize when I can and should speak or act with integrity continues to be a work on progress.

I am not perfect, but I will keep working towards that goal.  I will work towards perfection knowing I will fail, because I can't even begin to imagine exactly what perfection will look like.  But, I can visualize "better than I am now."  So, that's where I intend to go.

I AM clued into that.