Thursday, November 19, 2020

Too Long on the Farm

You know you've worked on the farm too long when ...

  • see the words "harrowing experience" for a Halloween advertising and you immediately think of a using a farming implement.  
  • ... even worse - you consider writing a blog about your latest farm "harrowing experience."
  • ...someone asks you how you are doing and you say, "the lettuce looks good."
  • ...and the fall-back answer is "well, the weather has been nice/difficult."
  • know there are cobwebs on your hat from the Poultry Pavilion.  You've had people point it out to you.  And, you still haven't cleaned them off.
  • ...stains on the knees of your jeans do not mean your jeans are not clean - at least from your perspective.
  •'d like to CHUCK the wood at the woodchuck.
  • ...after seeing recent commercials, you wonder if the woodchuck might actually CHUCK the wood back at you.
  • ... there is a small jolt of surprise when you meet someone who doesn't know what kale is...or kohlrabi, bok choi, etc (sorry, had to stick with k's).
  • ... but after doing this for many years, you are now surprised when someone DOES know what kohlrabi is!
  • ... there are six or more shovels in your possession and you wonder if you should buy a *few* more.
  • ... and even after the pandemic has reduced the number of people at the farm - you still think about adding shovels, rakes and other hand tools.
  • ... you strain your neck trying to look behind farm buildings and in the tall grasses by farmsteads for tools that might be useful to you.
  • ...and then after many years of farming, you start wondering how you can get rid of tools that turned out not to be so useful and wonder if you should adjust and get some NEW tools that fit you better.
  • ... you wonder if people are straining their necks to look behind our buildings and in our tall grassy areas.
  • ... someone asks you what you've been doing lately and you are tempted to say, "Lemme, there is too much.  Lemme sum up."  (See Princess Bride)
  • ... you edit your comments regarding other peoples' response or opinions about the weather.
  • ... you editorialize about the weather to whomever will listen (or appears to listen)
  • ... all of your analogies seem to refer to farming, vegetables, poultry or the weather.
  • ... most of the catalogs on the end table have pictures of drip irrigation, greenhouse heaters, chickens, tractors or tomatoes on them.
  • ... the back entry has twleve or more pairs of shoes/boots for two people.  
  • ... every shoe on the back entry seems to have poo on the bottom of it when you need one that does not.
  • ... someone asks if you like tomatoes and you reply with a diatribe about heirloom versus hybrids, the relative merits of trellising techniques and the yield levels of three of your favorite varieties.
  • ... a picture promoting a cross country team makes you wonder if you could convince them to train on the farm by either fetching the needed tools, taking the harvested produce back to the packing are or (worse yet) you consider hitching them up to plows or cultivators.
  • ... you appreciate Winter for the physical break it gives.
  • ... your picture of Summer when it is Winter is always so much better than what it ends up being.
  • ... your biggest gripe about Winter has less to do with cold, wind, snow or ice and MORE to do with the lack of daylight hours so you can do work outside.
  • ... the line between 'just enough farm talk' and 'too much farm talk' in casual conversation is too readily crossed.
  • ... the line between 'just enough farm talk' and 'too much farm talk' is rarely crossed because you have convinced yourself that no one really wants to hear farm talk.
  • ... you get surprised when people actually DO want you to talk about the farm.
  • ... your dreams include giant turkeys chasing you with a wheel hoe.


 edit note: the original version of this was posted all the way back on November 18 of 2010.  It has been updated because there are always more silly things to add!


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