Wednesday, April 7, 2021

Lost Writings of the Sandman

Ever since the Sandman left us in 2018, we have felt the loss of our most excellent Spokescat.  This 2015 interview with the Sandman gives you a flavor of his ability to command... well... most everything.

Since the Sandman designated me to be his most obedient servant, it was up to me to take notes when he was feeling like dispensing his wisdom.  As you can probably guess, I was not always completely ready when the Sandman was ready to speak (much to his disappointment).  There were numerous times I was fighting to scratch out a few notes while I was cultivating the potatoes or harvesting the peppers.  

You see, when the Sandman spoke, you listened.

You all know what to do.  Pay attention!  I, the Sandman, have spoken.

I was recently going through papers in the farm office when I came upon a cache of notes I had taken during some of my conversations (listening sessions actually) with the Sandman during his short, but illustrious, life. I thought I would do all of us a favor and share some of those notes.  

I am sure he would be disappointed to know that this valuable wisdom will have taken so long to reach the general public.  But, if I told him I was taking a nap - per his advice - I suspect he would forgive me.

The Sandman on Being Helpful

"I have found that humans just never seem to know what is good for them.  You wonder why I sit in your harvest trays or ask for a skritch at the times I select?  You need the reminder that I am what is good for you.  This is obvious.  Yet you fail to recognize it.  Sometimes I can hardly believe how much effort you require.

I will move you away from these failings.  I, the Sandman, have spoken!"

It is true.  The Sandman always seemed to know when I was not getting my priorities quite right.  If we dared to walk by him once with an armload of fresh produce without proper acknowledgement, he could let it go.  After all, he was a busy feline and couldn't always be bothered by us.  But, if he was giving you that look he had and you STILL walked by him going the other direction without proper recognition?

Woe unto you!  He would find some method to remind you of the greatest good.  And that greatest good was the Sandman. 

You may think that I am being facetious in my writing at the moment - and perhaps that was the initial intention.  Then, I thought about it a bit more.  

Running a small, diversified vegetable and poultry farm can take every waking hour of your day if you allow that to happen.  The Sandman regularly reminded us that a good skritch, or a few moments speaking with a wise spokescat, need to be part of the equation of a balanced and healthy life.  After all, there was plenty of time to get work done while the Sandman took a nap.


The Sandman on Proper Nap Locations

"Nap locations are all about temperature and the potential for recognition. 

Temperature is easy. A cool spot on a hot day, a warm spot on a cool day, or any spot on a perfect day.  This is easy and even humans should be able to figure that out.

On the other hand, excellent napping locations also fulfill the desired amount of recognition that a feline requires for any given moment.  If a cat is tired of the humans and their slow wit, we find a spot where they cannot see you.  And, no, I will not tell you where those locations are.

Most of the time I just want you to know that I CAN observe you if I want to.  After all, I can't have you messing everything up!

If you know I am able to watch you, you must do better!"

I think most cats are able to select nap locations fairly well, but Sandman was an expert.  He knew exactly how much exposure the humans needed to achieve the recognition that he required of us.  His cat "aura" would influence what we did and how we did those things.  After all, we did not want to disappoint the Sandman, did we?

I hope you enjoyed some of the Sandman's wisdom today!  The notes are pretty jumbled and some are blurred, but I will try to periodically take the time to get a few of them figured out every so often.

Until then, the Sandman would probably tell you to take a nap.


  1. I think I will do just that. (or maybe a bit longer than a nap.)

    1. It is wise to heed the advice of the Sandman!


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