Doing Even Better Than Me

Some people see life as a perpetual competition.   I am not always sure who many of these people think they are competing against, but it is clear they want to win - some of them at any cost.

Then - there is me.  Believe it or not, I have a competitive streak.  But, I am sure you won't be surprised to hear that my idea of competition may not follow the text book description to the letter.  Sure, I played baseball, volleyball and fastpitch softball and I did my best to help my teams win.  Yes, I actually played competitive Ticket-to-Ride tournaments and I did my best to win games I was a part of.  I even put some of my postal history material into exhibits that compete against other exhibits.

Perhaps all of that fits the normal definition.  I lost my fair share of times and I've even had the privilege to be on the winning team every so often too.  Over time, I've learned to value the process of competition and the quality of the efforts of all participants.  I have discovered that you can win badly and lose well.

And I have also discovered that my best competition - the one I always strive to best - is me.

So, what, exactly, brought this line of thought on?

Tammy and I often talk about how teachers can help others to learn.  While I am no longer teaching formally as a college faculty person, I still have enough experience to be able to provide a potentially valuable ear and perhaps offer up a few useful ideas when Tammy needs it.

This got me thinking about how I might lead classes differently now than I did "then."  I am certain that there would be some rust that would need to be worked out.  But, after that, I recognize that I would modify a number of things in my teaching technique.  I am not saying I wasn't reasonably good in the past.  What I am saying is that I would like to think that my experiences in life and my desire to keep improving and learning would end up counting for something.

In short, I would expect to do even better than what I did before once I got back into the swing of things.

The question is - how can I tell if I am doing better?  

To be honest, my measures for how well I am doing are often not nearly as simple as scoring more points.  With the teaching example, I can think of numerous circumstances that I might like to have handled better.  I'd like to think that more experiences with more people in more circumstances could help me to handle things with more grace.  If we're thinking about farming, my key measurement has become my own personal satisfaction with how crops are progressing.  It's not really production numbers right now.  

Just like all of my other competition examples, I won't always "win" by exceeding my prior efforts.  But, I hope to offer quality efforts and I expect to put my heart into what I do.  When all is said and done, I'd like to be able to look at what I've done and honestly believe I "played a good game."

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Bonus farmer update:

The recovery program continues at a good pace.  I have been able to do more and more activities on the farm each day.  For those who get nervous about that, I will assure you, once again, that I am being appropriately cautious and I am paying attention to what my body needs me to do.  I am not lifting full feed and water buckets (for example), but I can roll down a high tunnel side.  Tammy has been very good at accepting that there are some things I CAN do, therefore I tend to draw those tasks.

I do get tired much more quickly than I am used to - which is also part of the healing process.  And, I would still say that my concentration levels are no where near where they used to be.  But, perhaps that's just a myth in my own mind?  I guess I'll just have to work at doing better than me.