Recovery Falsehoods

There are certain lies that you tell yourself and that some people help perpetuate as you prepare for a major life event - such as a major surgery.  Lies like:

• If we just push, we can get ahead of things so we won't have to dig out so much after the event.
• You can rest and maybe distract yourself with enjoyable, quiet activities such as reading, etc during recovery.
• The rest of the world will cut you some slack as you recover - kind of like the friend who stands patiently while you tie a shoestring.
  

I am now three weeks removed from surgery (can you believe that?) and I am pretty much done with the post-surgery fog.  I can move around pretty well, but I still have to limit my activities to avoid straining my torso - for all of the obvious reasons.  

As far as recovery goes, I think I am doing pretty well if you limit it to just the physical recovery.  But, I am also at the point in the recovery process where I am now fully aware of these facts:

• There was no way we could get ahead of everything before the surgery - even if we did give it a valiant effort.
• I wasn't really able to enjoy reading or most other quiet activities I enjoy for the first two weeks after surgery.  In fact, I would NOT call that period of time restful.  Instead, it was a lot of work. And, it mostly just exercised my tolerance for delayed gratification.  Now that I can read, etc, I have to get back to work.  So... never mind.
  
• And no.  Most of the world kept on walking as I tied my shoe.  Now I'm trying to double-step to catch back up.
  

Am I really as upset as I sound as I write this blog?  

No.  Not really.  After all, I do believe that Tammy and I did about as well as we could have asked ourselves to be prepared for this.  Our lives are not a complete shambles at this point in time and we are accomplishing a number of things each day.  And, there has been all kinds of wonderful support sent our way.  

If there is one thing that concerns me, it is the amount of stress and strain this all has put on Tammy.  If you know us, this won't surprise you.  I'm typically more worried about her and she's usually more worried about me.  Let's just say that I am glad I have been able to take up more responsibilities each day to help lessen the load on her and leave it at that.

Yes, the broilers are out of the brooder room and now on pasture.  Yes, Valhalla got moved.  Yes, we've planted half of our onions in the field.  Yes, Eden is planted.  And, yes, I am starting to get some things done in the office too.

In the end, this is more an observation of how we, as humans, often obscure the truth from ourselves when it comes to potentially difficult things.  The real question I have for myself is what purpose this serves.  Does it allow us to face difficult things with a bit more optimism?  Is it a way to build up one's own courage?  Or is it just attempts to project how things are going to be in an uncertain future?

Probably all of the above in some way, shape or form.

There you have it - just some things I've been thinking.  It's a dangerous pastime you know.