Balanced Scales

Exactly three years ago, I wrote this post.  Three years ago, we were all navigating something that was new to most of us in the United States - a pandemic. I thought it might be instructive to revisit what I was thinking and how we were all feeling at that time.  It's so easy to leave it all in the past and forget the lessons we should have and need to learn and relearn.

--------------

How do we balance the scales in our lives?

I've struggled with this question on and off, but I know recent events have encouraged me to bring it out so I can turn it around so it catches the light in different ways.  I am aware that these feelings and questions are not unique to me, nor am I any more special than any other person.  It just so happens I am willing to share some things I am thinking via a blog on a regular basis.  Others could certainly do the same if they wished.  If some of the things I share here help someone else, entertain another person and perhaps encourage yet another to learn something new - wonderful.  If they don't?  Well, at least I got to have that chance to view my thoughts and examine them for a while. 

Good enough.

How do we recognize problems that exist without allowing them to overwhelm us?  If we take a moment away are we guilty of ignoring something that we should be acting upon?

A couple of people I know shared this very interesting and moving 'short film' by Canadian Liv McNeil.  If you have the internet to do so, take a moment to view it.

Even an introvert, such as myself, recognizes that we are social creatures.  The physical distancing we should be following to reduce the spread of COVID-19 has, in fact, led to a certain level of social distancing as well.  The strain is showing and many are becoming overwhelmed.

Sometimes the reaction seems to be that we should rebel or completely turn off the switch when it comes to concern for the pandemic.  It isn't hard to understand where this is coming from.  But, ignoring the threat and pretending a problem doesn't exist won't make it go away and it will only hurt more people.

You're tired.  I'm tired.  We're feeling overwhelmed.  What can we do to help each other (and ourselves) without ignoring this virus?  I am seeking that balance in my own life and I hope you are as well.  For us, we will remain cautious and do the things in our power to not spread the virus.  We will wear masks and we will limit our physical contact with others.  But, we are also working to improve our social contact while still maintaining some physical distance.  We'll just keep learning - it's what we can do.

What will it take for you and I to be able to be aware and empathetic to someone else's fear and pain while still realizing our own joy, peace and happiness?

I have long admired Yo-Yo Ma as a musician and I have come to admire him even more over time as a good person with a kind heart and generous soul.  I have also recognized Rhiannon Giddens' talent in the past, but her genre of music is not one I often listen to, so I am less familiar with her.  These two talented people put together a powerful piece that I enjoyed and I thought I would share it here. 

It is very difficult to hear the lyrics of this tune and not hear the pain in them.  I am hopeful that I can find a way to acknowledge the pain, fear, anger and suffering of black people referenced here while still recognizing and feeling gratitude for the good things in my own life.  It is tempting to put on the "sackcloth and ashes" to show public remorse and there is also a fear that my own happiness would be a betrayal of their pain.

So again, I am looking for a balance in my life.  It is not right, and it has never been right, for people of color to be systematically mistreated and abused.  But, I actually think I might be capable of doing what I can to speak out for those who are struggling without disowning the good things in my own life.  This isn't supposed to be about making everyone miserable.  It's about getting rid of a weight that so many people carry around with them that is tied to the color of their skin.

Where is the balance between extending ourselves to achieve something great that could help others who need it and preserving enough of ourselves so that we can also live well?

Our farm has been a great training ground - if you can call it that - for working on the balance between pushing hard to achieve and keeping our own mental and physical well-being in mind while we work.

The answer - at least to us - is still unknown, because it seems to shift and morph with every new day.  If you have followed our blog for some time, you know we have been working hard to find the balance between dedication to excellence and preservation of our own physical and mental well-being.

But, let me say this.  I still believe we are ALL better than what we have shown thus far.  We let ourselves 'off the hook' too easily too often.  We even do a poor job of allowing ourselves to enjoy the things that are supposed to bring us that coveted balance.  And so, I do what I hope I will always do - I will keep trying to do better.

When will we acknowledge when things aren't right so we can try to find useful solutions that can move us forward to something better?

I recognize that I can get impatient when people spend lots time outlining a problem and trying to convince me that there is a problem.  Perhaps that is because I can often see that there is an issue that needs addressing and don't want to spend time on the 'convincing us there is a problem' stage.  I want to get to the 'fixing it' part.

But, then again, part of the fixing it just might be listening to those who are being affected by the issue.  And perhaps another part is actually taking the time to have a conversation.  Does that solve everything?  Of course not.  But it is part of the process.

This brings me to one more video.  Emmanuel Acho has been creating a series titled "Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man."  I appreciate the gift he is giving by attempting to have conversations with/for white people that address questions and issues that we might not otherwise consider.

The video above was his first installment.  The two that follow include face to face discussions with white people, making it more of a dialog.  I am certain Mr. Acho does not speak for every black man or woman, just as I do not speak for every white man or woman.  But, he is right about one thing for sure - if we take the time to have an honest conversation with someone we are uncomfortable with, we just might find that the discomfort is misplaced and that we can locate common ground for understanding.

As I viewed these conversations, I did not find that I was uncomfortable with the content of the discussion at all.  If anything, most of it made perfect sense and was generally in alignment with my own beliefs.  On the other hand, these videos, the Rhiannon/Yo-Yo musical composition and all of the protests have made me uncomfortable for a different reason.

The Man Standing on the Corner

I can think of dozens of times that I found myself on a street corner or parking lot or outside a shop just standing around waiting for a ride or for a friend to meet me.   I have waited in a car parked on the street and put my head back to close my eyes multiple times.  I have placed myself in mall food courts in strange cities so I can do work while my lovely bride attended a conference for her profession.  I've spent hours in hotel lobbies doing the same thing.  Students, staff and faculty of Wartburg College know that I sometimes will work in the coffee shop, library or other locations on campus.

I admit that I have gotten odd, questioning looks.  I do tend to be a bit scruffy looking and my red baseball cap isn't always in pristine condition.  I have a tendency to wear hoodies, but usually with the hood down.  My clothing is typically clean, but sometimes a bit worn.  I have been known to talk to myself as I think something out and I will occasionally stop typing or writing and stare at nothing - though some who do not know me might not realize I am not seeing whatever it is that I appear to be looking at.

I have only been approached by police or security five or six times.  And in all but one of those instances, I was not terribly worried about the outcome.  In the lone exception, I was still in high school, so we'll include that as a 'strike' against me.  In several of those instances, I was struck by the mildly confrontational tone the police or security person took as they initiated contact.

What would have happened if I was black skinned?  Or perhaps a Latino?  Would someone call the police because I was pacing back and forth for ten minutes in front of a Seven Eleven as I waited for a ride?  Would that mildly confrontational tone the police officer had remain mild or would it push the boundaries of civility?

Better yet - how about the times I have stood outside, on a cold evening, after the sun has gone down, by myself, pacing back and forth, mumbling, humming or whistling - while I wait for the last person to come pick up their turkey?  I have had the police stop by to chat a couple of times because they are curious about what I am doing at our various drop-offs.  If my skin were black, would it be more than a 'chat?'

Sadly, the answer is this.

If I were black, I would probably work hard to NOT be left waiting on various street corners for rides.  I would consider hiring a white worker to stand with me by the truck during produce distributions.  There would be fewer choices for pick up locations and times because I would not want to be stuck waiting for customers under many of those conditions.   I would think twice about going and sitting to do work in various public spaces for fear that someone will think that I look threatening and then do something about it.

I have gotten away with being free to do these things this way for most of my life.

And I want people of color to be able to do the same.

A World Gone Sideways

I went outside to do chores with Tammy on Thursday morning, which was nothing new.  The fact that I took the camera out and tried to get some photos of the beautiful flowers on the farm was not unique either. Still everything felt a bit off to me, as if the whole world had gone a bit sideways while I wasn't looking, and my mind, body, and soul were trying to figure out what to do to balance it all out.

Tammy tested positive for Covid last week after feeling very run down with a headache and muscle aches and we were hopeful that I could care for things (and Tammy) while she fought her way through it.  Unfortunately, my immune system didn't keep me completely in the clear either, so I've been given the opportunity to take my own Covid journey since Sunday last.

Both of us managed to "get in under the wire" as far as the national Public Health Emerency Declaration ended May 11th (yesterday).  I say this as if this were a goal of ours to not be left out of the "fun."  In reality, I think both of us are a bit upset that we would keep the Covid wolf away for three plus years, only to succumb now.

I actually got myself down, close to the ground for this picture - something I could typically do without thinking on a normal day.  My body protested the action as my head started pounding and the world felt like it was a little off kilter.  I managed to get back onto one knee and stayed there for a while until everything stabilized.... such has been the way of things for the past few days.  How silly does it sound to say that a picture of dandelions wore me out and I had to quit the photo collection session after that?

I have been finding the world outside to be a surreal landscape as it has rapidly added lush greens.  Even the baby Oak leaves are visible!  Spring can really surprise you with how fast everything changes when you are able to be out in it and paying attention every day.  But, when your perception's a bit skewed because you aren't feeling well, the changes can be dramatic and not quite real.  Sometimes it seemed like it was one of the those softly blurred images where your mind and your eyes feel like if you blinked one more time, it would all clear up.

The two of us have managed to find ways to get the poultry chores done and the seedlings have gotten their water.  The cats are all cared for and we, the two farmers, are doing what we can to help each other.  But, all of the things we must do to get things planted are not getting done.  It's a harsh reality, but the success of our farm relies on the two of us taking recovery seriously so we can actually hope to catch back up.

Still, the journey has not been without some humor.  

We live in an old, two-story, farm house.  Our bedroom is upstairs and we were downstairs.  Both of us were preparing to head up and stood near the base of the stairs - each of us was about the same distance away.  Tammy looked over at me and said, "Go ahead...."

Instead of responding, I simply started to laugh.  Then she started to laugh.  Then I started coughing.  And she started coughing.

If you don't understand the laughter, you need to consider that one of the common symptoms we have been experiencing is an exhaustion that comes in waves.  Tammy was offering that I should go first because the stairs were looking a bit daunting to her at that moment.  I started laughing because I was about to offer that she should go first... for the same reason.

So, instead of toughing it out and climbing up the stairs, we wasted whatever energy we might have had for the task by giggling and coughing for a bit.  It probably wouldn't have been this funny with anybody else.  Ain't love grand?

Down and Out

Well folks, this year's blogging streak ends here.

The big bad Covid wolf finally broke down the door at the Genuine Faux Farm after three years of denying it entrance.  Looking at a computer screen is difficult for me, so I'll be taking a break from it.  I hope to be able to complete next week's Postal History Sunday.  Otherwise, we'll see where it goes.

I hope all of you are well and that you have a fine day. Here is a picture - which I am sure is worth at least a thousand of my words.

Three Years - What Have We Learned?

It was just over three years ago that our world changed.  It changed for the two of us professionally, as we scaled down the Genuine Faux Farm and I took a job with Pesticide Action Network.  It changed for everyone as the Covid-19 virus took direct human contact in the broader community away while it also took some members of that community away permanently.  Some are still fighting health chronic health issues from that time, a daily reminder of how a virus can change lives.

We all made adjustments.  Some good people made good things happen.  Other people did things that were selfish and harmful.  I like to think that Tammy and I did our best to be helpful and supportive, carrying our weight as best we could while lending a hand when it was possible.  Yet we are completely aware that we are not perfect, so I am sure we also failed more often than we want to admit.

Our farm blog that had been running since 2009 suddenly became an instrument to reach out.  In prior years, we averaged about 100 posts.  But when the pandemic hit, posts appeared three times more frequently than they had in the past.  Topics expanded beyond the farm and I found myself asking, what could we learn and how could we be better in the face of a difficult time?

It is three years later and I am wondering if we (both the Tammy and I "we" and the worldwide "we") have learned anything?  In a very real way, I felt like the pandemic and all of the struggle that went with it was a call for us all to be better and do better.  But now that most people can go to restaurants for dinner, enter crowded ballparks and concert venues, and basically stop thinking about the spread of a dangerous disease.  I wonder if we're more interested in moving on than incorporating lessons learned into our lives.

So, I thought I would take a moment and reveal some of the things that have changed in the lives of the Genuine Faux Farm stewards.  

Tammy started baking bread nearly every week since that point about three years ago and we have been eating our own honey for the past three years.  Of course, Tammy's skill has increased significantly with the repetitions (it's been at least 150 bread baking sessions!).  And, I can honestly say that one of my favorite snacks has become bread with honey.  Does that mean that we do not succumb to some of our less healthy snacking habits?  Sure, we're not perfect.  But I find that it has become easier to say "no" to some of those things that we habitually found ourselves eating prior to the pandemic.

We've been dedicated to local food for some time - but I think we have re-dedicated ourselves to making sure we provide for ourselves.  When you grow food to sell, you can get tempted to feed yourself less well in the interest of getting more product to your customers.  So, in recent years, we've done a better job canning and freezing so that we have had a more diverse food during the colder months.

Our appreciation for the natural world has increased significantly over the past three years.  That doesn't mean we didn't explore and enjoy these things before - because we did - quite a lot.  The difference is that we slowed ourselves down a bit more to observe and try to understand what we were seeing, smelling, feeling and hearing.  Then we took time trying to learn a bit more about what we had observed.

This is one of the changes that I actually take for granted now.  It wasn't until I made myself think hard about it that I realized this wasn't how we've always been.   Well, ok.  We've always been this way to some extent, but we often suppressed it for any number of reasons - among those reasons is our willingness to let busy lives overwhelm all else.

And yes, as we get busy again, we sometimes fall back on pre-pandemic habits.  The difference is that we recognize it is happening and we work to reverse the trend.

I told myself that I would identify three things we have learned and continue to follow since the pandemic started.  I could not decide on the third one to highlight, so I added some pictures to the blog that we took in April of 2020.  Then it came to me.  And this one is personal to me - I won't presume to speak for Tammy or anyone else on this one.

It was about that time, three years ago, that I fully rejected the idea that the loud, provocative, divisive, negative, and destructive voices made speaking out pointless.  I decided that there is room for thoughtful words.  There is room for realistic observations and suggestions that we can do better and learn more.  There is room for all sorts of people to be and share who they are - and that includes you and me.

It is tempting to give up, become discouraged and disengage because it feels like it is all hopeless and my efforts have no impact.  But, as I said in the prior paragraph, I reject that notion.  There is hope and there is space to say things like...

We did learn some lessons during a difficult time.  We are continuing to do our best to be better and do better.  And I encourage you to do the same.

Because it does matter.

Have a great day everyone and thank you for considering my words.

Two Year Blitz

On March 31, 2020, I challenged myself to do something I had actually done once before - only moreso.  I challenged myself to publish a blog a day for three months.  I had accomplished the "blog a day" once before in January of 2019 (one month).  But, the blogging that followed for the rest of that year may have been some of my least productive for quite some time.

I actually met the goal I set for myself in 2020, publishing something every single day from March 31, 2020 to June 30 of that same year.  I then promptly took a day off on July 1st, but came back with something on the 2nd and promptly ran off another eight in a row.  

Now, here we are.  Two years after I set the initial goal.  

I took the screenshot you see at the top of this post on March 3.  For 2022, I had yet to miss a day of publishing a blog.  Much to my surprise, I looked and found that I had not missed a day in November or December of 2021 either.  A new run of consecutive posts that exceeds my prior streak.  As a matter of fact, I have not missed a single day this year up to this point. That surprises even me.

Since the first string of posts in the Spring of 2020, during the beginnings of the pandemic, there have been well over 600 blog posts shared here with those who care to read them.  One entry will typically have from five hundred to fifteen hundred words.  If I might be so bold as to suggest a reasonable average of 800 words per entry, we have 480,000 - and probably closer to a half million - words available for us to read, ponder, or even.... ignore.  All as we see fit.  

I will give you a few hints as to how this has been possible.  First, I have my mother to thank for her willingness to teach her children how to be touch typists.  I am afraid I would have very little inclination to write as much as I do if I had to search for each letter of every one of those 480,000 words.  

Second, the goal is to PUBLISH one entry a day.  It has not been to WRITE an entry a day.  There are times when I have very little that makes me want to write.  Then, there are moments where I just want to write... and write A LOT.  It might be more accurate that I EDIT something every day.  And, I still find typos and errors when I go back and read something - much to my horror and irritation.

Third, I reminded myself that I already had a great deal of decent material written.  Some of it was for the newsletters we emailed to our customers in the early years of our CSA.  We even printed a few out!  You may have noticed that material that has been sitting on our old farm website is steadily becoming blog posts too.  There is no need to completely re-invent the wheel for each entry.  Besides - I bet you most of the redone material is completely new to most people who see it the second time around.  And, there is no such thing as good writing - just good re-writing.  Some of the best entries are things that have had other iterations.

And, some of those iterations.... I'm not sure I want you to see them anymore!

Finally, there is this.  I read an entry by John Pavlovitz that confirmed for me part of the reason for my blog blitz.  The title of his blog was "The World Needs Good News This Year - Give it Some."

Well folks.  Those who read the Genuine Faux Farm blog are a small group - but a group I care about.  If I can fill a small corner of your worlds with something thoughtful, something interesting, something new, something beautiful, something that encourages us to exercise gratitude, awe and wonder.  If I can do that on a regular basis.

Then I am content.

But, I am also looking at stepping back from the daily posts now in hopes that I can create some "better" posts.  Still on a regular basis - just not likely on a daily basis.  There are still a series of posts sharing recipes that are all lined up for Tuesdays - all the way to mid-May.  There will be Postal History Sunday entries every week as well.  And then I will likely average two other posts per week.  I think four posts a week ought to be just fine, don't you?

Have a good day and great remainder of your week!

Change of Pace

Welcome to Friday.  And, since it is Friday, we'll do something a little different.

I wonder if other people are noticing some of the same things I've been noticing about myself over the past couple of years.  So, in order to find out - I kind of have to share some of the things I've been noticing...

So, do any of these things sound familiar to you?  And if so, how do you address these things - or do you think they need to be addressed?

1. I'm avoiding "tension" in the fiction books I read

Ok.  Let me be clear here.  I do like to read, but I haven't been reading as much as I used to.  And when I do read, I tend to favor books I have already read.

This is the part where you ask the question "Why?" 

Wee pause for a second....so you can ask "Why?"

Well, I'm glad you asked.  Anyway, I assume you asked "why" because... well, how can you ignore a request given as a caption to a cute baby picture of the Sandman?

Anyway, most excellent fiction thrives by putting the characters through moments of tension and trial.  Authors often take the story to bleak and difficult places and the story (especially if you like the fantasy genre) often explores the limits of how bad things can get, while still allowing some of the characters to survive so you can continue until the end when - hopefully - there is redemption and renewal.

Over the past five or six years, I have found that I no longer have the capacity to handle the stress, even though I know it is fictional.  In short, I am finding too many parallels to the world I live in.  So, I end up reading a book I have already read, because there is no longer uncertainty in my mind as to how things will end.  I can read through the low spots knowing there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

It's gotten to the point that I have started some books and have been enjoying them immensely - and I put them down when the going gets rough.  And I haven't found the energy to pick them back up again.

Yeah.  I suppose I could read the last chapter to come to some sort of assurance that I can find some resolution, but I don't even do that.   

How about you?  Have you noticed this about yourself lately?  Or is it just me?

2. I'm forgetting how face to face interactions are supposed to work

Yes.  I am exaggerating just a bit.  But, I have noticed that there is a stronger sense of unease - even with people I know well.

Now - full disclosure.  As a quiet person who tends to be more introverted than most, I have always maintained a bit more personal space and I do tend to listen more than I talk - unless it is my JOB to speak.  So, in many ways, my personality type is better suited to some of the isolation we've all had to deal with for a couple of years now.

But now, I find myself taking time to process even things that used to be automatic, like accepting a handshake.  I will say that it can get pretty awkward when two people have their hands extended half-way to each other and each person has a far-away look in their eyes that tells you that they are wondering, "Is it a good idea to shake hands with this person?  What if they aren't ready to do that?"

And then there is the moment when both parties realize they've been standing there in complete and utter indecision.  Now they have to deal with the awkward moment of trying to figure out how to navigate ALMOST shaking hands.

And, I am noticing people (including myself) are having a harder time figuring out how much eye contact is appropriate.

On the other hand, I have noticed that people are more willing to share "bigger and more important" things earlier in a conversation now - there is less preamble with small-talk, which suits me just fine.  But, I sense unease in others who do prefer more of a lead up to things.

Departures have gotten even less easy.  Even people who are usually pretty good at defining ends to conversations and saying "good-byes" are struggling with the issue of how to come to the conclusion of a discussion.

I am sure we all know some of the reasons for this.  If you are like me, you've been in more video conference calls than you ever thought you would be in EVER.  And, if you are like me, it's actually a fairly big part of your employment.  There is no way you can be involved in that much "virtual" social interaction without it impacting how you see ALL types of social interaction.

How about you?  Are you noticing this too?

Well, thanks for dropping by and reading this blog post.

It was nice "seeing" you here.

I hope you have a good day.

Well, bye... I guess.

Take care.

Um....yeah.

Wake Up Call

The good news?  Covid cases, hospitalizations, and deaths are on the decline in the US.  This should not be much of a surprise if you pay any attention to the cycles of this world - including the big cycle perpetuated by the trip the Earth takes around the Sun each and every year.

But, it's not just that cycle that plays a role.  It's also the cycles that surround the patterns we, as people, follow with respect to holidays, school years, time outside, travel.... the whole shooting match.  I, for example, have been been sick more often in January and February than any other month of the year during my lifetime.  This is partly because - I am no one special when it comes to infectious diseases.  The more time I spend indoors and the more exposure I have to people who are infected, the more likely it is that I'll have to fight something off. 

It's just the way viruses are.  They're out there and they're looking for a host.  If you give them the opportunity, they'll try and take it - fairly simple.

Also fairly simple - catching a virus that will make you ill has little benefit for you or those around you.  So, if there are simple steps you can take to stay healthy, why not take them?  One common sense approach is to simply limit your exposure.

That said - I walked into a convenience store recently, wearing a mask and intent on getting what I needed and then getting out efficiently - because I know of several people who are fighting covid infections right now and others who are dealing with other viral issues.  No big deal.  Not making a statement, just taking a couple of precautions to limit my exposure (and anyone else's exposure if I am carrying something) because - well, again - why not?

A person I did not know looked at me, sneered and said, "Oh, I see you're STILL running scared, eh?"

This time, I did not ignore that statement.  I stopped and asked, "Do you still have two kidneys?"

"What?"

"Do you still have two kidneys?"

"Um, yeah, why?"

"Well, I don't.  I had one taken out due to cancer.  Maybe I have a reason to be a little more cautious than a lucky person like yourself."

And I walked away.

This person was still in the area when I checked out moments later and they would not look at me as I walked out the door.  I can only hope that the message was received.

Now - I can tell you.  I am not necessarily any more worried about catching Covid or any other viral infection than I might have been before with two healthy kidneys.  I don't WANT to catch any of it - why would I?  I mean, who WANTS to feel like crap while their body fights to clear it all out?  But, this person needed a wake up call and I was in a unique position to be able to give it.

You do not know what another person is going through.  You do not know all the reasons why they might decide to wear a mask or maintain their distance from you.  You cannot judge for them whether it is fear or just common sense that makes them take precautions.  And it is not for you to determine whether their fear or concern is valid or not.

Perhaps that person wears a mask because they have an immune disorder that is not readily apparent to the rest of us.  Or maybe, they were feeling a little under the weather and were just thinking about a person who might have an immune disorder and they wanted to reduce the possibility of passing something on.  And perhaps, they wore a mask because they want to let another person know, who really NEEDS to wear a mask, that they are not alone.

I now know of four people who have died from Covid-19.  I know of two others who have died, who are related to people I have acquaintance with.  I am aware of at least two people who acknowledge dealing with long-Covid symptoms.  

I am a bit of an exception because I seem to be aware of more people who have dealt with the extremes of this illness than most.

You see, I understand why some people don't see this as being as serious as it has been.  The US population is about 330 million people, and we have had about 78 million reported Covid cases since the pandemic started, about 24 percent of the population.  Of those, there have been about 850,000 deaths due to the virus (about 1% of reported cases ended in death).  So, about one quarter of a percent of the US population has died with this as the primary cause of death since Spring of 2020.

To put that into perspective.  If you know of and pay enough attention to 1000 people in your world, you probably know of two people who have died from this virus.

According to some research, the average citizen of the US "knows" 600 people.  By the same token, it is estimated that most people only have between 10 and 25 persons they know and trust.  So, I think it is safe to say that the number of people we "actively" track is probably between these two ranges.  And, if the distribution is the same for everyone, you probably need to know and somewhat track 500 people to personally know one that has died from the virus.

With that in mind, we should not be surprised that some people do not see the virus as the same threat as other people do.  If you are among those who are not aware of someone who has been gravely affected by Covid, it may seem to you like the whole thing is a ... well... a hoax.  After all, if we don't see it directly impacting ourselves - it isn't as real to us as it should be.

Until someone reminds you that perhaps - just maybe - the person wearing a mask as he enters a convenience store may have a bit more risk for complications than you do.

Again - I am happy for you if you are perfectly healthy and have no cause to take extra precaution.  Good for you.  But maybe you can extend the goodwill that must surely come from knowing you are robustly healthy and accept the next person may not be so lucky.  And maybe, you can consider their needs once in a while.

Time to wake up.

Reading Rainbow

I am not a "90s Kid," so I did not grow up listening to Lavar Burton on Reading Rainbow.  But, I do remember seeing a couple of the episode when they first aired (for whatever reason) and I recognized the same value in that show that I remember getting from Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street.  The tone was always welcoming.  You felt like you were valued and that learning was possible and positive.

So, as we were all traversing the earlier stages of the pandemic and looking for ways to deal with the isolation and worry that came with it, Burton was among those talented people who stepped up.  Lavar started reading to us all, kids and adults alike.  And, if you are someone who listens to podcasts, Burton has a whole host of short fiction available.

My motivation for this blog is like so many things I do - there is no ONE motivation for it.  But, of course, part of it is the fact that we are riding a new wave of the pandemic, and I am looking for things that might bring comfort.  And, one of those things is finding people who do things that have that feel of kindness that we, as humans, so often crave, but often fail to have fulfilled.

Being read to is, in my mind, an act of kindness.  And Lavar Burton's history of reading and being part of a show that let children know they were valuable and capable certainly doesn't hurt my opinion of him either.

So, here is an act that I hope is also a kindness to others.  I recommend "The Paper Menagerie" by Ken Liu.  I read this short piece of literature some time ago and thoroughly enjoyed it.  It is extremely well written and is a beautiful story.  You can take this link and have Lavar read it to you (you may have to scroll down a little to see the proper podcast).

Let yourself sit still for a short while and have someone read to you and share the gift of kindness.

The Benefits of Changing Habitat

This weekend, Tammy and I were pleased to look out the front windows of our house and see a Brown Thrasher hopping around in some of the bushes we have put into the front yard area that sits between our house and the gravel road.

It is entirely possible that the thrasher has a nest in this thicket of Redosier Dogwoods from the Iowa DNR State Forest Nursery we put in about six or seven years ago.  After a little taming a year or so ago, it appears to be achieving the multiple purposes we hoped for when we put these bushes in.  Yes, they catch some of the dust.  They also slow the wind down that had often whipped around this corner of the house - causing various problems.  And, the wildlife has apparently discovered this is a pleasant place to be.

We were delighted further when we recognized that we have a pair of Common Yellowthroats that seem to like this little thicket as well.  We can't recall hearing these little birds at our farm until the last four or five years.  It is possible they were here and we just didn't recognize their song.  But, I believe it is more likely that the changing habitat that we offer at our farm has provided them with an opportunity to thrive here.

You see, Redosier Dogwoods (we personally call them Red Twig Dogwoods) are not the most attractive landscaping bushes you could select for a feature by a house.  Maybe if we groomed them more?  But, they are serving the purpose we desire of them right now - and we are thrilled by the role they are playing in making our farm more habitat friendly.

It has taken some time for some of these Yellowthroats to find our farm and to determine it is friendly to them.  But, this should not surprise us.  Nature is constantly changing habitats.  Sometimes with catastrophic events such as a derecho, hurricane or wildfire.  The changes to the landscape often make the area much less amenable to many of the species that had once thrived there.

But, as the area recovers, other species find the new environment to be a good place to do what it is they do.  It takes time, but nature has its ways of healing - ways that can be quite amazing if we take a moment to observe them.

More Habitat Changes at GFF

For those of you who have not been to the farm in a while - or those who have never been on the farm - you have all witnessed the results of a "habitat change" of sorts if you have been reading the blog for the past fourteen months.

You see, I have been thinking (a dangerous pastime you know!).  And, I am realizing that the pandemic has certainly been stressful and limiting to most of us in some fashion or another.  In short, there has been a catastrophic change to our habitat that has enforced change.

Many people who had thrived (or thought they were thriving) in the world before Covid-19, found themselves at a loss.  And I understand that.  There are many things that we once enjoyed but have not out of necessity.

On the other hand, the pandemic created an environment that allowed some people to thrive in new and beneficial ways.  I was just noting that a few musical artists who had moved on from their music careers to take jobs so they could feed their families were suddenly finding themselves motivated and able to create music once again.  In addition, some new creative voices were finding the motivation and desire to share what they do - and people, such as myself, were finding that we were hungry for their artistry.

It was the pandemic that caused me to consider writing more frequently than I had in previous years.  Some might say I was reasonably prolific (for a farmer) prior to the pandemic.  Now, they just think I am insane (or at least a little imbalanced).  But, there is no denying that I have become a better writer.  And I am amazed by how much I have learned in the process.

I would be hiding the truth from myself if I did not recognize that the changes in the world and in my life that came about from this pandemic presented me with... a gift.  One that I hope to keep on sharing with those who enjoy reading these blogs.

Bigger Picture

As I considered this topic - all motivated by Brown Thrashers and Common Yellowthroats - I was reminded that sometimes discomfort is necessary so a new population or a different group can have its time in the sunshine.

We have moved away from the perfectly manicured landscaping around our house (both intentionally at times and involuntarily when we run out of time).  Our natural inclination is to present some beautifully maintained perennial gardens - and we would still like to do some of that.  But, the reward of naturalizing has netted us the opportunity to talk to Common Yellowthroats.

You see, the All About Birds site suggests that if you know these little birds are in a thicket, and

 "If you don’t spot one after a while, try making a “pishing” sound; yellowthroats are inquisitive birds and often pop into the open to see who’s making the sound."

I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to trying that one!

But, I am also reminded that there are many, many people in this world who are not as comfortable with the "norm" as many of the rest of us seem to be.  Sadly, we don't seem to be motivated to find ways to help these people to thrive when everything seems to be following regular patterns.  It takes a catastrophe - then maybe some of these people can thrive for a time - while others struggle and suffer.  I guess its a silver lining to the storm clouds.  But, I would rather we found ways to give a broader range of habitats for more people to thrive without a pandemic, or wildfire, or whatever....

So, this is all a reminder to me (and to you) that my comfort zone is not always your comfort zone.  And, sometimes my comfort zone is not always the best place for me to be because I am often not motivated to be my best when I am wholly comfortable.  It is also a reminder that we can make changes to our habitat without a disaster.  And, perhaps, we can make changes in hopes that we make someone else more comfortable so they are able to create, live and maybe even thrive.

And maybe my blogs are the equivalent of a "pishing" sound.  I'm just trying to see what will pop out from the thicket.

Pish!

The Roots of Resilience

My thoughts are often a product of my current experiences - which should be a surprise to no one.  Of course the things we are going through in our lives right now will have a strong bearing on what we allow our brain to spend time on.

In the past few weeks I have been thinking long and hard about what it means to be resilient.  And, more specifically, what it means for me to be resilient - and what it means for me to support resilience in myself and others.  Certainly not a new topic for me, but given the context of a recent surgery, the process of recovery, and the amazing support from the various communities in which Tammy and I have connections, it has come back into prominence.

 

linocut created by Simone Adler - shown with permission 

Sense of Belonging Builds Resilience

One unlooked-for kindness was received on the day I returned home from the hospital.  But, before I tell you about that - let me give you some context.  

I have been a part of the PAN (Pesticide Action Network) community since last April with my job as Communications Associate.  I knew these were good people when I joined and I am happy to work with them.  I have worked at other places in the past and have also found plenty of good people, though there have been varying levels of quality if I were to describe the overall workplace community environment.

In short, my past experiences did not prepare me for what arrived in the mail on the day I came home from the hospital.  A packet was mailed from the PAN workplace community that included photos of pets - showing me how to relax and recover.  Photos of clouds, snow on mountains, gentle waves, and gardens.  Each with kind words encouraging me to do what I needed to do to heal.  This packet was appreciated very much.

Among the images shared in this packet was a linocut by Simone Adler, which is shown above.  I was already considering what makes us resilient and I was already thinking about the role communities play.  And, there I was staring at this piece of artwork.  

My work community, our families, our community of close friends, the farm community we've created over time, the school community Tammy is a part of, and the various other organization-based communities we are a part of all stood up to remind us that....

We belong.

Not only do we belong, but they value our membership in the community.  That's a good way to encourage both of us to persevere and be strong.  It is, in my mind, one of the ways communities build resilience.

Strong Communities Grow from Respect and Tolerance

Over time, I've learned that being part of a strong community has a great deal to do with the respect I show to others and the tolerance I exhibit for any difference from my own preferences and background.  I do not believe that a community is strong if everyone has the same characteristics, the same strengths and weaknesses, or the same likes and dislikes.   A diverse community (in all senses of the word "diverse") is one that encourages resilience because each of us can bring our strengths and knowledge forward to lift up another person's weakness or help them to learn something new.

And, when I just happen to be the person who is in need, I can lean on those who are feeling stronger or are in a better place at that moment.  If we were all the same, we would all struggle at the same time and no one would be able to help.  If we were all the same, we would not know how to help because we would all be strong at the same time.

Perhaps some people might wonder at my choice of the word "tolerance" because we have all known a person who has shown tolerance... but not respect.  But, I do choose that word and its pairing with "respect" deliberately.  Why?  Because I think respect and tolerance can lead to acceptance and growth, without necessarily giving up the things that make each person who they are. 

Bending, Not Breaking

Each member of a strong community has a responsibility to bend a little bit to make room for other members of that community.  This lends itself to resilience of both the whole and the individuals that make up that whole.  

Sometimes, we bend by going out of our way to help when someone is recovering from a surgery and can't manage all of the farm work.

Sometimes, we bend by accepting help graciously when we would rather be the ones doing the helping.

Sometimes, we bend by moving outside of our comfort zone of what we know and understand so we can show respect for another member of the community as they share what is important to them or about them.

Sometimes, we bend by realizing that our opinions and our beliefs may not work for someone else - and that doesn't make them any less valuable or any less worthy of our kindness, love, acceptance, and respect.

I liken the development of strong and resilient communities, populated with strong and resilient members, to the process of "hardening off" seedling plants.  Our young seedlings are initially protected from the winds, the heavy rains, and the wide temperature swings.  As they mature, we must expose them to all of the elements - toughening them up so they can thrive on our farm.  The process of hardening off encourages the growth of a strong root system - the basis of a healthy plant.

Perhaps, initially, we protect our fledgling communities and our children (and maybe ourselves when we enter a new group) from difficulties early on, just to get a start.  Then we need to increase exposure to the elements of the world, and in doing so we make ourselves, and our communities, stronger by bending in the wind, bowing as the rain pours down, and leaning on each other when things get tough.  These trials encourage the growth of roots that will lead our communities to thrive and the strength of our communities will permit the roots of resilience to grow.

Check In and Little Things Again

Believe it or not, I took a little break from blogging last week - only posting on Monday and Tuesday... and the April Fool's post Thursday.... and Postal History Sunday.  But, other than that - yeah - I took a break.  This is actually fairly significant because this represents the same number of days I missed blogging from April 1st through July 30th last year.  Yeah...  four months and only three misses.  Go a week and only post four times = VACATION!

Check-in with the farmer

I realized that we tried to do a 'check-in' blog post every so often last year and we have yet to do one dedicated to just that purpose this year.  So, we're going to do a very quick check-in here.  And, then, because it's what I want to do, we're going to revisit the topic of "Little Things" that make us happy.

I will start with the "elephant in the room" that would be my own health.  We have dealt with a bit of a saga over the last year that started with the discovery that I have hemochromatosis - a hereditary condition that essentially means my body cannot rid itself of excess iron.  The solution is, essentially, to donate blood as a way to remove excess iron from my system.  Yes, it is/can be more complex than that.  But, once the iron levels are in the normal range, blood donation can pretty much keep things under control.

In the process of checking things out, scans were made of my liver and kidney.  This resulted in the discovery of a small mass in one of my kidneys that was, after a couple of biopsies, determined to be cancerous.  We were able to delay action through the Winter to work around the issues that Covid-19 were creating for the health professions and scheduled for surgery in March.  We lined everything up as best we could, resigned ourselves to the process and... bruised a leg pretty good and developed a blood clot.

So, now I'm on blood thinners for a while and the surgery is rescheduled for late April.

To make a longer story short, the process has been hard on both of us.  I share it here not because I want sympathy but because it might serve as further explanation for some changes and actions we have taken of late.  We are setting ourselves up for a full recovery, but that process requires that we identify coping mechanisms that help us get through some of the "now."

Little Things Again

I think I have always taken pleasure in little things to some degree.  One of my favorite Christmas gifts that I received more than once was my own box of Ritz crackers and maybe some peanut butter or cheese or summer sausage.  I will admit that, as a teen-ager, I probably ate more than my share of such things while I was at home.  It's what teen-agers do (they eat a higher percentage of their parents income than is comfortable for the parents).  But, there was something symbolic about these being "my" crackers and cheese and that they were gifted to me.  My sister remembered this and gifted me my own crackers, cheese and summer sausage again this year.   

It was a little thing that made me happy.

Tammy and I both still love taking some time out most days to play a game of Wingspan.  You might call it uncreative and uninspired that we play the same game most days.   I call it soothing and it makes for a little thing that we both still appreciate.  It is time we get to sit across from each other and be friends.  

Maybe that's a good bit more than a little thing.

We apparently made some of the geraniums we potted this past Fall very happy and we have some gorgeous bright blooms in red, pink, white and fuchsia.   It's a little thing, but it makes us happy.

I have been trying to hop on the stationary bike frequently, giving myself a 20 minute span to see how many "miles" I can get.  You really have to keep the speed up around 95 rpms to get to eight miles and I've done that.  Since then, I've gotten up to 8.38 miles.  It's an absurd little milestone.  But, it makes me happy.  Ya, ya.  So some of you can beat that.  Don't care.  I'm happy.

I still like that new mechanical pencil.  The crocus flowers are fading, but the daffodils are showing promise now and the forsythia bushes are showing color.  The soil still feels good under my feet and that turn played by a cello still makes me smile.

A little while ago I was able to indulge myself with the opportunity to put "care packages" together for others and mailing them out.  I took what might be an absurd amount of joy in doing that.  Since then, I have received some unlooked for mail myself - including a box with some puzzles, a game and some books.  Thanks!  It makes me happy.

We received some new music from a favorite band (the Choir).  I still take great joy in exploring new music by artists I appreciate.  In the grand scheme of life, it may be a little thing, but that doesn't matter.  I see the offering of their talents as a gift that has been shared with me.  What's wrong with letting that improve your mood?

Someone else took the time to tell me they appreciated Postal History Sundays.  Another let me know that some words I wrote meant something to them.  A friend called me because they hadn't heard from me and was concerned about that.  Another asked for my input on something they were doing.   Someone else said that I had done a good job on something.  Another allowed me to explain what was worrying me without putting words in my mouth or interruption.

These things made me feel valued.  Maybe they didn't seem like much, but that's only true if you don't recognize them and acknowledge that they do matter.

I am reminding myself to take these positives and give them all FULL VALUE.  No apologies for the fact that they might not be a "big deal" and I am certainly not sorry to say that each of them made me feel good. 

The little things are going to help us get through the big things.  What little things have made you happy lately?

If You Asked Me, I Would Say...

March 30th officially marks the one year anniversary of when the current blog blitz got its first post.  There is a lot of writing that has shown up on these pages over the past year.  I'd like to think that most of it was passable and worked well enough for whatever purposes they might have had.

I was asked by a couple of people - if I had to choose only a few of the 330 or so posts I put out over the past year, what would they have been and why would I have selected them?

I tried to answer each question I have received with one, and sometimes two, posts.  For those who asked - here are your answers!  For those who didn't - here are their answers!

First a Warm Up

I found it a bit harder over the past year to write materials entirely dedicated to humor.  I am sure it was partly a function of the year and the circumstances we have all been dealing with.  But, that's not the only thing - it is really hard to write something that is funny - especially when you think you HAVE to!

Fairly early in the blog blitz, I wrote something in response to the increased use of the word "unprecedented."  It's still worth a chuckle or two and should warm up the audience: I Don't Think It Means What You Think It Means.

But, if you prefer something with more animals in it, you can read Henlet, A Sililoquoy

 Something Written by One of the GFF Denizens

I was asked if I would chose ONE blog post featuring the thoughts of one of our various Genuine Faux Farm residents.  Maybe a Farm Supervisor (cat), or one of the turkeys?  I thought this one by Crazy Maurice, the willow tree, was an excellent choice!

But it Wasn't Funny

What Kind of Farm is the Genuine Faux Farm?

Another person asked, if they were to share a blog post that might give someone an idea as to what the Genuine Faux Farm was like, what would it be?  They wanted to be able to point someone to a blog post that highlighted some of what we do so it was clear what our priorities were and how we grow produce or raise poultry.

The obvious choice is probably Pollinator Support in the Nooks and Crannies.  It's a list of ideas people can implement, it has nice photos and it is very accessible to most people.

But, I might prefer to point a person who knows a little bit about growing to Interplanting in Tomatoes because it gives a taste of more of the detail showing how we work at the Genuine Faux Farm.  

Best Postal History Sunday?

I think it might have been one of the people who asked one of the questions above.  They wanted to know which Postal History Sunday post they should share if a person expressed a little interest.  

I admit, I felt a little lost on that one because I am not always sure what appeals to everyone - especially with Postal History Sunday.  I finally decided on That Doesn't Seem Fair - a post that showed what happened when people did not pay all of the postage on letters to England in the 1860s.  It's actually a fairly easy read while still imparting information.  Responses from both those who enjoy the hobby and those who were merely curious were very positive for that one in particular.

One of Rob's Pesticide Action Network Posts?

The thing about the posts I write for PAN is that they are often some of the most refined pieces I put out because they receive editing and proofing passes by people other than myself.  Once in a while, something sneaks through - but not often!

Let me suggest one of the more recent posts even if it is not strongly 'pesticide related': We Need to Consider the Real Value of our Food

Something that Gives Insight as to Who Rob is

A surprising question I received was, "what post would you share if you wanted people to understand a little more about who you are and what makes you do what you do?"

Oh dear.   Um... almost all of them?

I will give you two.  The first is titled Quiet.  Those who are introverts apparently related well to it and those who are not can learn a little more about what makes an introvert tick.  

The second is Ever the Observer, it's a reminder to me and everyone else that what we do can leave an impression with others.  

 Your Favorite?

When I was asked this one my initial thought was - are you crazy?  How in the world could I select a favorite?  And yet, I keep coming back to this one:  Gifts Left on the Table

Every so often, I actually write something that I find myself going back to read when I need to build myself back up.  This has become one of those posts. 

The One You Wish Everyone Would Read?

This is also a very difficult question because it puts an awful lot of pressure on just one writing to represent everything I hope I can offer.  Until I realize that's not the question.  The question wasn't, "what is one blog that will outline all of the things you care about in a way that is written perfectly, is entertaining, and doesn't miss a trick?"  

I started with a group of five or six that might fit the bill, but when push comes to shove - I want you to read this one: Changing Minds

If you have been counting, you might realize that this list of posts I have referenced totals eleven.  Once again, this list goes to eleven - as so many of my listing posts have done over the years.  It must be instinctual, because I wasn't counting.  

Have a great day everyone!

Year-Long Blog Blitz

On March 29, 2020, I sat down to write a blog outlining where we were at for our poultry plan for the 2020 growing season.  As I was writing that post, I realized I had our annual, April 1st post coming up and I had a request from someone who wanted to see some current pictures of the farm - which often makes for an easy-to-write blog post.

The pandemic was forcing us all to make changes in our lives.  Many things we had taken for granted were going to be removed from our list of options for some time - especially if we wanted to do our best to care for others.  I was realizing that I had the ability to, perhaps, help people (and myself) a little bit.  So, I had taken to making a daily post in a couple of postal history groups and I was putting out a daily "Gentle Reminder" on social media (there is another grouping of these Gentle Reminders here).  

It dawned on me that I had been able to put out a daily blog in a January 2019 blog blitz that several people indicated that they enjoyed.  So, I entered a personal project that has, apparently, not reached its conclusion.  Over 330 blog posts and one year later - the current blog blitz continues.

Why Bother?

It would be incorrect for me to say that that many blog posts did not take some effort to write.  There were, in fact, several times that I wondered if I had it in me to continue at this pace.  Then, suddenly, I would have five more ideas and they would somehow get done.  Not bad considering my initial goal was to make it through thirty days without missing a day.  I started March 30, 2020 and did not miss a day until July 1 - goal reached and exceeded.

At that point, I figured I would go back to an average of six to twelve posts a month as typically has happened since 2009 on this blog.  But, a strange thing happened and it kept going.

A cynical person might suggest that people, such as myself, who suddenly found themselves producing art, music and writing and sharing them online were doing so for the attention it would bring.  If that were the case for me, I should have stopped quite some time ago - this blog does not receive heavy traffic even after a year of posts.  And, you know what? That's fine because that wasn't my goal in the first place.

My main motivation was to do what I could to be one of the "helpers," rather than just a bystander - or worse, part of the problem.  So, what could I do?

Well, I'm not an award-winning author, and I won't be mistaken for a professional photographer - but I can do ok.  Most people don't live on a small, diversified farm, so that might drive a little interest and help people get out of a negative loop.  I have knowledge about a few subjects, so I can share some of those things and I have shown ability to help people learn in the past.  So, why not?  Maybe.  Just maybe.  It will help?

Did it Help?

Well, in many ways, this blog blitz turned out to be something that has helped me - even though I intended it to be a helper to others.  It was a relatively safe way for a normally introverted individual to express himself and consider how he felt about some pretty big things happening in the world.  It also gave me a chance to hone writing skills that I would need for my new job with Pesticide Action Network.  I could work out some ideas here before they would get refined for publication there.

As far as helping others?  Well, I get an encouraging word that indicates I have reached at least one person now and again in a positive way.  I am aware that I have family and good friends who will read these blogs semi-regularly and find something that reminds them that I care about them.  Sometimes, I get a response from someone I don't know as well, telling me they got something good out of whatever was shared.  Every once in a while, a post actually reaches 100 views, for whatever reason.

These are all indications to me that there is something of value here.  So, I have continued.  In a way, these are my letters to you to let you know that I am thinking about you and that I wish you well.  In another way, these are letters to myself, to remind me that I care and I want to always do better.  If you happen to make your own lessons from what is here, then fine.  We can ALL do better.

What's Next?

I must admit that I have been very hesitant to start feeling positive that we can move forward from the isolation that the pandemic required from us.  The natural world owes us nothing and it doesn't care whether or not we are tired of being cautious and careful in an effort to keep people healthy and not overwhelm our health professionals.  Viruses will do what they do and they do not necessarily follow guidelines, even if the CDC publishes them.

But, even if we remove some of the limitations on social interactions, I am not certain what it will mean for the Genuine Faux Farm blog.  At this point, I intend for the "blitz" itself to run a natural course.  When it gets to be too much of a chore - or I just don't have ideas to share - or it feels like it isn't serving a purpose anymore - I'll let it go and return to a post or two a week.

It won't mean that I care about everyone any less.  It just means I might be seeking a new way to show that I care.  Or - perhaps the introvert needs to recharge so he can get back at it again.

But for now, I am still enjoying offering up Postal History Sundays and Throwback Thursdays and Veg Variety Saturdays and whatever else I come up with.  If you happen to learn something new or if you just feel a little bit better about something because there is a picture of an iris in the blog post, I'll take it as a win and as something that is worthwhile.

Be well everyone.