Genuine Faux Farm

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Monday, January 1, 2024

Best of 2023

Welcome to 2024!

I am sure this year will bring some new things - including the possibility of a new approach for the farm blog. But, before we turn the page on 2023, I thought I would share my selections for the best blogs of 2023.

In order to qualify, I removed Postal History Sunday from the list (they got their own post) and I also removed Faux Real Stories because I've been sharing them lately for you to enjoy. I also removed from consideration any "throwback" post - even if I practically rewrote some of them in their entirety.

Given the fact that there were well over 300 entries in the past year, there was still plenty of decent writing to share. In other words, it was still difficult to limit myself to eleven! But first, we get to share the blog that got the most readership (not counting those taken out of consideration by my restrictions above)!

After each link, I grabbed a quote from each blog. Maybe you can choose what seems interesting to you to read. Or you can just read this blog and be amused by the fact that I feel like I need to provide a "best of" list for 2023 in the first place!

People's Choice:

Why They're Called Chores

Now, the good, or bad, news - depending on how you look at it - is that there were two days this past weekend. Sunday was cloudier, cooler and it had some light rain. The rain wasn't heavy enough to stop the outdoor work, but it sure did make a person damp a bit faster than some good, old-fashioned sweat.

In my case, I was able to accomplish the task of sweating and getting rained on at the same time.

Multi-talented, I am.

Author's Choice:

And now we come to my choices. I did not spend much time on ordering them - but I did agonize over the process of cutting things down to just eleven. I did okay until I got down to fifteen - but it was pretty difficult to choose at that point. That's good news for you, because I didn't have to stretch to find the good stuff!

Those Who Hesitate

Look before you leap. Or, maybe you prefer "look for thorns before you grab the stem of a rose?" Whatever. It's your brain, so you can play with the idioms that reside there all you would like.

Assess your surroundings, think about the possible future outcomes, before you find that you've put yourself into a very bad situation. It actually doesn't sound all that different from what I was saying before when I suggested that I would be lost if I hesitated. But, in my case, I was talking about hesitating to think about the situation and make a decision.

Mythology: The Open Spot on the Calendar

I have selective amnesia when it comes to some of the busiest and most stressful times of year. Perhaps there is a small voice in the back of my mind that is yelling in its tiny voice, "NO! Not then!" But, the open spot on the calendar causes the rest of the crowd to roar in appreciation of the fact that a mutual time has been located and agreed upon.

That poor little voice knows better, but how can it get the attention of the decision making process when that process is too busy acknowledging the applause? OPEN SPOT... OPEN SPOT... OPEN SPOT... YAY!

Spring Migration

Many birds change into their mating plumage by going through a molt (growing a new set of feathers). According to All About Birds, the Cornell Lab website, Snow Buntings rub their heads and bellies against the snow to wear off the darker coloration on the tips of their feathers, exposing the lighter, white parts.

Ah, the things we do for love.

Rustic or a Dump - at Least it's Authentic

Part of the problem is that not everyone can tell the difference between useful items that are there for a reason and an honest to goodness mess. You can probably guess that the rolled up hose in a cart with a couple of feeder covers is probably there for a reason (stored for the Winter). But, they also probably don't look all that attractive either. There's a pile of metal that is waiting for the next metal drive - and that's not something you walk someone by when you want them to think your place is beautiful either.

I will also hazard a guess that chicken transport crates are not likely to be most people's choice of decorative items either.

Water Cooler Talk

Only a very select portion of the population in our world today can fully relate to the idea of moving hens from one location to another on a small (or even larger) farm. And that's why I often find myself mumbling words like "oh, nothing much," when someone makes the polite inquiry about what I did last night. Or, I simply make the bold statement, "We moved the hens from one location to another one." People around the cooler can take it at face value or not.

It's just that this approach runs the risk that one of those folks are going to ask me to explain what I mean by that. And that is when the fun begins.

Moalepe - Walk There Again

Then there was the Eucalyptipath... Ok, it was a row of Eucalyptus trees (with a few other trees mixed in). After a stretch of sun that made us both feel a little bit uncomfortable, the shade from the trees was welcome. And, to top it off, we had a bit of a breeze moving the leaves around.

I think the only thing about this part of the path that was a negative was the sheer number of roots IN the path. I would have liked to have walked with my head up, smiling the whole way, to enjoy the sight of the filtered sunlight and the feel of the breeze on my face. Instead, we had to keep our eyes on our feet most of the time so our faces did not get a close up of the ground and those same roots.

Snirt Alert

Today's snirt is on our farm, in part, because of the words of Earl Butz, Secretary of Agriculture for Richard M. Nixon. Butz called upon farmers in the United States to plant from fencerow to fencerow and encouraged individual farms to get big or get out. I should be clear here, however, that his declaration in 1973 did not mark the beginning of snirt in Iowa and other locations. It merely emphasized a style of agriculture that has little regard for diversity and natural processes - a style that was already gaining steam, especially after World War II.

Coneflowers and Goldenrod

Mother Nature: "How about a nice BIG patch of goldenrod where you planted those iris."

Farmer Rob: "Um... I would rather that go over..."

Mother Nature: "And while we're at it, some thousand-flower aster would be great next to it."

Farmer Rob: "But that's where I put the iris and day lilies! Could we just..."

Mother Nature: " And that cherry tree.... it needs some trimming."

Sweet Marsh - A Disturbing Walk There Again

We continued down the path and noted that there was a turtle crossing it a few hundred feet ahead of us. This Painted Turtle really wanted nothing to do with us either, but it couldn't swim or fly away. Instead, it simply pulled into its portable home and put out the unwelcome mat.

Of course, being the inconsiderate humans we are, we had to stop and observe this poor creature for longer than it wanted. To be fair, our simple passage was already considered enough of an inconvenience. But it seemed like it had a pretty nice home - and we told it so.

Of course, we got no reply and we eventually gave up having a conversation as a bad job.

Clan Leaf

While a branch may not fully appreciate or understand the function and form of a leaf, it still needs to recognize its value and respect it. The roots will never see a leaf, but it takes its nourishment through photosynthesis while the leaf is part of the plant or as a result of decomposition after the leaf falls and is broken down into useful nutrients.

Grace

In this world, you can do everything as best as you are able with the knowledge that you have at your disposal. You can seek out qualified opinions and give yourself time to make the best decisions. You can do everything as right as you possibly can.

And you can still have a result that is not a good one - even when you can't possibly see how you could have done much better.

This is why it is so important to give each other - and ourselves - grace.

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Thank you for reading and considering my words. Here's hoping we can find kindness and beauty in 2024.

Thursday, November 30, 2023

Too Long on the Farm

Way back in 2010, I wrote short blog that listed some of the odd things I noticed that reflected how much the farm influenced what I thought and said. I actually took the time to update it in November of 2020 because there was soooo much more!

The kicker for these is that, while some seem a bit silly, they accurately reflect actual thoughts or are a faithful recording of actual conversations and states of being. Laugh all you want, but there are plenty of grains of truth here. If you nod and agree, you're probably a farmer - especially a farmer of a small-scale, diversified operation.

If you don't get it. That's fine. You haven't experienced it and that's ok. You'll just have to trust me when I say:

You know you've worked on the farm too long when ...

...you see the words "harrowing experience" for a Halloween advertising and you immediately think of a using a farming implement.
... even worse - you consider writing a blog about your latest farm "harrowing experience."
...someone asks you how you are doing and you say, "the lettuce looks good."
...and the fall-back answer is "well, the weather has been nice/difficult."
...you know there are cobwebs on your hat from the Poultry Pavilion. You've had people point it out to you. And, you still haven't cleaned them off.
...stains on the knees of your jeans do not mean your jeans are not clean - at least from your perspective.
...you'd like to CHUCK the wood at the woodchuck.

...after seeing that Sesame Street clip, you wonder if the woodchuck might actually CHUCK the wood back at you.
... there is a small jolt of surprise when you meet someone who doesn't know what kale is...or kohlrabi, bok choi, etc (sorry, had to stick with k's).
... but after doing this for many years, you are now surprised when someone DOES know what kohlrabi is!
... there are six or more shovels in your possession and you wonder if you should buy a *few* more.
... and even after changing how the farm works and those changes have reduced the number of people at the farm - you still think about adding shovels, rakes and other hand tools.

... you strain your neck trying to look behind farm buildings and in the tall grasses by farmsteads for tools and implements that might be useful to you.
...and then after many years of farming, you start wondering how you can get rid of tools and implements that turned out not to be so useful and wonder if you should adjust and get some NEW tools that fit you better.
... you wonder if people are straining their necks to look behind our buildings and in our tall grassy areas.
... someone asks you what you've been doing lately and you are tempted to say, "Lemme esplain...no, there is too much. Lemme sum up." (Ok, this one is more of a thing for people who like Princess Bride than a thing for farming)
... you bite your tongue and edit your comments so they are suitable for the general public when you hear a non-farmer's opinions about the weather.
... you editorialize about the weather to whomever will listen (or appears to listen)
... all of your analogies seem to refer to farming, vegetables, poultry or ... of course ... the weather.
Someone asks you what you did over the weekend and you tell them about the weather.

... most of the catalogs on the end table have pictures of drip irrigation, greenhouse heaters, chickens, tractors or tomatoes on them.
... the back entry has twleve or more pairs of shoes/boots for two people.
... every shoe on the back entry seems to have poo on the bottom of it when you need one that does not.
... someone asks if you like tomatoes and you reply with a diatribe about heirloom versus hybrids, the relative merits of trellising techniques and the yield levels of three of your favorite varieties.
... a picture promoting a cross country team makes you wonder if you could convince them to train on the farm by either fetching the needed tools, taking the harvested produce back to the packing are or (worse yet) you consider hitching them up to plows or cultivators.

... you appreciate Winter for the physical break it gives.
... your picture of Summer when it is Winter is always so much better than what it ends up being.
... your biggest gripe about Winter has less to do with cold, wind, snow or ice and MORE to do with the lack of daylight hours so you can do work outside.
... the line between 'just enough farm talk' and 'too much farm talk' in casual conversation is too readily crossed.
... the line between 'just enough farm talk' and 'too much farm talk' is rarely crossed because you have convinced yourself that no one really wants to hear farm talk.
... you get surprised when people actually DO want you to talk about the farm.
... your dreams include giant turkeys chasing you with a wheel hoe.

I'm sure I'll come up with more at some point in the future. But for now, I hope you were mildly entertained. Have a good day everyone!

Thursday, November 9, 2023

Farmer Delusional Syndrome Strikes Again!

November. The daylight hours are fewer and the dark hours are longer. But, the transitions from one to the other are frequently full of color and drama. The moments of sunrise and sunset are enough to even lift the spirits of a farmer who has grown tired of the growing season that was. And, depending on the farmer, it may even lead to a bout of optimism that might be less healthy than you think it is.

Yes, I'm talking about

Farmer Delusional Syndrome

Typically, Farmer Delusional Syndrome starts the moment seed catalogs begin appearing in the mailbox. It ends whenever it becomes clear to the farmer that they are already behind and their well-considered plans for the year are already shot. This is usually April for me, but I am sure some growers might argue for an earlier date. I just might hold onto my delusions more firmly than most.

Is it possible that you, too, suffer from Farmer Delusional Syndrome (FDS)? Let's review the symptoms together, shall we?

1. Do you circle forty new varieties and three to five completely new vegetable types to 'trial' for the coming season in the first catalog you see?

If the answer is yes, you might simply suffer from Gardener Delusional Syndrome (GDS), a closely related malady. The main differences have to do with volume. A person with GDS might be thinking about growing a couple of plants of each thing. We're talking about FDS when the individual already has a list of oh... say... one hundred vegetable varieties that are on the "must grow" list and a "trial of a few plants" is typically just "a few hundred row feet."

A person who suffers from FDS thinks they can squeeze all of these crops into their system somehow. Or, even if they don't believe that, they at least believe they'll be able to set aside more time to investigate these options in order to make the "best" choice before seed trays need to be started.

2. The farmer forgets that pictures like this one don't show the ENTIRE field.

And they forget the field doesn't STAY this way.

Every grower who records a season's progress with photos falls prey to exactly the same thing I do each season. I just cannot help but immortalize those moments in the field when everything actually manages to look the way I dreamt them up to be. It may only happen a few times each year. But, by golly! I'm going to get a photo of it so I can blow it up and hang it in my brain to remind me that it CAN be done.

Unfortunately for the sufferer of FDS, images like this only feed the insanity. Suddenly, every field WILL look like this in the coming year. And, it will look like that all the time! And...um.... that back corner that didn't get cleaned up just prior to the photo won't be there either.

3. It's cold outside right now. Like most people in Iowa, the sufferer of FDS idealizes warm June, July and/or August days.

Yes, those days. The ones where we have often gone through three, four, five and even SIX t-shirts as they get soaked by sweat. Days where we have been known to go see a movie we didn't want to see just to get into air conditioning for a little while at the end of the day.

4. The farmer sees nothing wrong with a calendar that includes five or more good sized projects in April and May.

After all, getting plants started, handling sales, planting a majority of the crops and dealing with poultry chicks only take "a couple of hours a day." For us, it only gets worse as Tammy's time is pretty much monopolized by her work at Wartburg and we usually don't have anyone working on the farm with us yet.

The months may be slightly different depending on the grower and their situations. But everyone with FDS conveniently forgets the tasks that just simply have to get done every year (or day). Suddenly there are no labor costs associated with them and they always get done, to completion, with no issues and minimal fuss. As soon as we convince ourselves that they will magically complete themselves, it's pretty easy to decide to add a small task or two - like, oh, building a new greenhouse or maybe tearing the old farmhouse down and building a new one using just matchsticks and bubblegum.

Yeah, little things like that.

5. Every row is straight.

Straight as an arr....oh.

It's a good thing that drip tape is flexible, that's all I can say.

The photo above was a moment when I fully realized that other people do not have the same sense of straight lines that I do. But, if you have FDS, every row is perfectly straight UNLESS you don't want it to be straight. This is the time of year where a grower might allow themselves to consider more complex shapes and growing systems - and actually think they can manage it without adding lots of extra time to the effort of maintaining it all.

The growing season is when you find yourself adapting to complex shapes and growing systems because THINGS HAPPEN. The off-season, when you have FDS, is the time when you willingly think about DESIGNING those things into your farm so you can deal with them ON PURPOSE.

6. Fields are dry when you want to work in them and rain only falls right where you want it to.

Ok, maybe we don't believe that one.

If you are really suffering from acute FDS, you will also believe that weather, in general, is a non-factor in your growing season. Never mind that weather conditions may be the most important confounding factor during any given growing season.

7. Taking a weekend or two off in the middle of the growing seems like it shouldn't be all that hard to do.

After our first few growing years at the Genuine Faux Farm, we realized exactly how much the farm dictated what we did with the rest of our lives. We knew that it was important to find ways to balance the daily farm grind with things that helped us to stay healthy and happy. And it is a common Winter exercise for those who suffer from FDS to fervently agree that there WILL BE time off next season.

You can gauge the severity of this symptom based on how far a person actually gets in planning the mythical weekends off.

8. This will be the year that a major, unplanned for project does NOT cause us to re-prioritize.

No Snorts Allowed!

In a very real way, FDS makes a grower behave a bit like an ostrich (burying their head in the sand so they don't see problems). The next season's plan is a place where the sufferer of FDS steadfastly ignores the bumps and the bruises that are most certainly coming!

9. Deer don't eat beets.

Or apple trees, or carrots, or... houseplants.

And, rabbits don't cut down young pepper plants, cucumber beetles don't girdle young vine crops, raccoons don't eat chickens, woodchucks don't graze on trays of broccoli, gnats don't cover your face, neck and arms in welts, horn worms don't eat every leaf off of a tomato plant, dandelion seeds don't clog up air intakes on the tractors, tools don't break, seedlings won't dry out.

The wind won't be THAT strong, thistles don't hurt that much, my body won't get that sore in May, cleaning carrots doesn't take very long and I won't let the pile of receipts get so big before they are recorded this time.

Those wheels didn't break, they just couldn't have.

10. A place for everything. And everything in its place.

We like the sentiment and the intent - at the least.

This will be the year that everything on the farm gets organized. No more walking from building to building trying to find the open-ended wrench that is the size you need to get a stubborn bolt loose on one of your farm implements. The harvest bins will be stacked neatly and they'll be clean when you need them, so you don't have to stop what you are doing to make them clean.

That space you keep saying you want to set aside so you can more easily do maintenance on the tractors will be ready to go every time you even get an inkling that an oil change is necessary. And, of course, you won't set something down in the grass path for just a second and then be unable to find it later on because you will ALWAYS be mindful of putting things where they belong.

Yes, sufferers of Farmer Delusional Syndrome always think that THIS will be the year that everything will work the way they've always wanted it to.

And the final symptom?

11. The farmer spends time making creative blog posts about fictional syndromes.

Our first reference to Farmer Delusional Syndrome appeared on the blog on February 5, 2014. It is likely that Tammy and I made our own personal reference to this syndrome - even if the name was not yet refined - as early as 2005, when Rob went through the process of creating a business plan for the Genuine Faux Farm.

In other words, it's been around the Genuine Faux Farm for a long time. I think we now have enough experience with FDS that we can tell you that, even though it is not listed as a real syndrome, it probably should qualify as one.

Well, I guess we should get on with the season. Don't mind me while I immerse myself in my own world of farm perfection for a little while. Sometimes, I think Farmer Delusional Syndrome might be the healthiest disorder a grower could have.

Have a fine day everyone!

Friday, October 13, 2023

Thursday, July 20, 2023

Merry-go-round

Since it is Thursday, we are offering this Throwback post from July 9, 2020. It illustrates how our farming day went at that time. Of course, things are a bit different this year - and yet, I am surprised how similar it is at the same time. It's true, we do not have turkeys this year, but we will have broiler (meat bird) chicks next week. We're mostly done with the seed trays, though there will be a few still for short season greens.

So, if you want a peak into the daily chore list at a farm like ours, read on!

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In early July, the daily chore list can get pretty long. It's a good thing we have more hours of sunlight to do them in! We had someone ask us to write a post about what it meant to "do the chores" at our farm. As with every farm, the chore list has a great deal to do with the time of year and the way the farm goes about business. For our purposes, we decided a chore was something we absolutely have to do every day or every other day, without fail. That means things like, weeding, harvesting, planting, mowing, mulching... well, you get the picture... these things don't qualify. We may do them most days, but it is rarely the same place or the same crop. We also eliminated things like laundry and cleaning harvest containers. These are done regularly as well, but I'm not sure we'll impress anyone by including them here.

And, you know us, we're ALL about impressing people. Yep.

Step 1: Care for the Farm Supervisory Staff
You know what they say - if management ain't happy...

The Inspector will make sure that Step 1 is completed prior to any other task.

The cats (both indoor and out) need to have the ritual of food, water and some nice skritches for the day to start off right. We have learned, much to our chagrin, that it is not a good thing at all if we skip step 1.

The Inspector will lead you to the location for food and water if you appear lost.

Step 2: Open It All Up
Most of the tools are in buildings. There are plants in buildings. If you want to do any work on the farm, you have to start.. er... Ok, you start by caring for the felines. But, if you want to start doing work, you have to open some things up.

We'll need some food for the poultry, I suspect it is in here.

Typically, we'll open a series of doors and leave them open for most of the day unless the weather is inclement or there is something we are hiding from the farm supervisors.

We'd better get Eden and Valhalla opened up too!

While we are at it, we have to make sure the plants in the high tunnels don't get to warm. That usually means we open up doors and roll up the sides. There are two high tunnels to open. On a regular basis we run irrigation in the high tunnels (every 3 days).

Casa Verde needs to be opened up as well if there are plants inside!

Sometimes, we actually do a quick run around and let the various flocks of poultry out even before we provide them with fresh food and water. This is especially true on very warm days/nights.

Interlude 1: Say Hello to the Workers
The bee hives are on the way to some of our next tasks, so we often stop for a moment and say hello. And sometimes we put water into a shallow bowl or container by their hives.

The bees usually are too busy humming a tune to return the greeting.

Step 3: Feed and Water Birds
This can often be the largest part of our chores, especially in early June when we have two flocks of broilers, two hen flocks, turkeys and a new batch of broiler chicks.

There be new broiler chicks on the farm!

Each flock is going to need food and water each day. Well, ok, most days. Sometimes, new chicks don't go through all of their water in a day and sometimes if there are lots of puddles, the other flocks may not drink the waterers down.

My, the turklets have grown into Turkles!

The birds currently in the brooder room are the turkeys and the broiler chicks. The room is kept warm and we work to cut breezes until true feathers are forming. As they grow we might start to ventilate the room more until we move them out. We check how spread out the flocks are listen for problems - making adjustments as needed.

The henlets are next door.

The henlets (our new egg laying flock) are getting closer to full hen size. At present, they stay inside the hen room in the Poultry Pavilion as part of the process of getting them to identify this room as their 'Home Base.' In a couple of days, they will be allowed out into their pasture area. As with all the other flocks, they need food and they need water. Once we start letting them onto pasture, we will be opening and closing their room door so they are protected at night and have access to the outdoors during the day.

ah, the Summer Cottage is near Crazy Maurice right now

The hens are out in the Northwest Territories of the farm and are closed up in the Summer Cottage until we go open the door and put up their access ramp. Obviously, we give them food and water - usually before we let them out so we don't have to dodge birds as we do it. We normally make a first check for eggs at this time too.

Then, there are the Boyus!

We have two flocks of "Boyus" in the Eastfarthing and they both need to be let out, fed and watered. On an every other day basis (unless it is way too wet to do so) we move the buildings using Rosie, the tractor so they rest over a new patch of pasture. Every couple of weeks, we have to reset the solar-powered poultry netting, which includes mowing the greenery down so it doesn't short the fence out.

Step 4: Wet Our Plants
Hey, the plant nurseries of the world get to use that pun all the time, but we also water plants, so we should get to use it if we want!

We have houseplants and flowers on the front and back porches

The potted plants usually need water every other day, unless it is particularly hot and windy, they we'll water each day. They have enough soil to be somewhat forgiving.

There are fewer trays right now, but they still need water.

The plants in seedling trays need watering in the morning as well. Earlier in the season, we have them in Casa Verde, in the trailer you see above, on a hayrack and on heatmats in the garage and basement. These all need watering. Since they have less soil, they are prone to drying out - so we need to pay attention here!

Interlude 2: Admire a Flower
We have flowers here and there, just so we can take a moment and view them as we go about our daily business. This daylily opened its first flower for us at the Genuine Faux Farm.

Ain't it purdy?

At this point, we are done with what we might term the 'morning chores.' There are numerous other things that might happen during the morning chore set depending on how things stand, but they tend to have something to do with these tasks.

In other words, we can start doing "real work" now.
That might be Rob working for PAN or Tammy working for Wartburg. Or we might plant, weed, harvest, mulch, turn a compost pile or clean out a poultry room. Perhaps we'll prepare for a delivery? The possibilities for the day abound!

Until...

Mid to Late Morning Chores
Well, whatever we decide to do, at some point we need to do a few things that are classified as 'chores.'

Like collect eggs from the hens.

Sadly, we have yet to figure out how to train the hen flocks in collecting, cleaning and packaging eggs. We get to do that particular chore. And, if we don't want them to break a bunch of those eggs, we need to visit them more than once in a day.

While we're at it, we'll check the babies.

And, if you have baby birds, you need to check them fairly often as well to make sure temperatures are what they need. It doesn't take long, but it is just one more thing...

Oh, and about that irrigation you started this morning. You probably should turn that off.

Oh, and don't forget to water the seed trays in Valhalla too!

Mid-Afternoon Chores
There are common themes here. Collect eggs, check baby birds and other similar things.

Haven't we seen this picture before?

But, we also have to add - wash the eggs to this list. It's a chore - that's for sure!

And yes, you should check all of the flocks on a warm day to make sure they've got water and see that there aren't other things going on that need your attention. And, remember those seedlings in trays? They might need more water by now!

Baby plants need water, that's a fact.

Early Evening Pre-Chore
So, about those broiler chickens....

Yeah. These guys.

It turns out that they LIKE to be where their food is. We take their feeders out of the building every morning and fill them and we put them BACK into the building every evening to encourage them to find their way into the building by the time the sun goes down. A waterer usually goes in as well.

Why? Well, we've found that most of the birds will go in without our doing this. But, when we do put this step in, all but one or two will go into the building without our herding them later in the evening. Believe me, it's a worthwhile chore to move those feeders now!

End of the Day - Put It Away

Barty and Rosie at the end of a busy day.

We admit that there have been days when we are really tired and there is absolutely no rain in the forecast that we might forego putting some things away. This is especially true when Barty (the tiller) is on the other side of the farm. But, most days, all the tools go back under shelter. Sadly, we are not always so good as to put everything back into its place. That is another story.

End of the Day - Close it Up
All of those opened doors need to be closed.

Remember all of the doors you opened in the morning?

And the high tunnels need to be closed as well.

Time to roll down the sides and close the doors.

We've considered leaving the high tunnels open on very warm nights, but we don't particularly care for dashing out to close them at 2 AM when a thunderstorm with strong winds pops up. Others can worry about that. Us, on the other hand? We'll close them up every night.

Oh! Better remember that too!

End of the Day - Shut It Down

We have learned the hard way that we need to check that all water sources are turned off. Irrigation that runs for twelve to fourteen hours is not a good thing.

Ah, good the hydrant at the left is off.

We have two hydrants by Valhalla, one by Casa Verde and the faucet on the north side of the house. It may not sound like much, but by the time we are doing our final chores, it is 9:30PM in June and July. We're usually pretty tired and find ourselves reminding each other to do things like "check truck windows" and "make sure the door is closed" and "did I turn off the water?" It is far better than climbing into bed and remembering one of these was not done.... and then going out to do it.

The henlets are fine.

While we are at it, we need to turn off lights for the henlets and give them one last check in.

And turn off lights and check the brooder room too!

And, while you're at it. You should probably put the cat food bowls away so the raccoons don't wreak havoc because they've found them!

The Inspector will expect to see you again in the morning.

End of the Day - Close Up the Poultry

Oh yes, now we need to close the door on the broilers and the hen flock.

Most of the broilers are in their building by 9:25PM

Broilers are a bit of a pain to herd, so if you can get them to go in on their own, that is best. Even then, there is usually one or two that will make you walk them around the building a few times before they go in. With two flocks of broilers, this chore is a times 2. Just like it was in the morning.

Good night Ladies (and Maurice)

The hens are usually in by 9:30pm (or so). There are often a couple that meander around a bit while you wait for them to go in so you can close the door.

There is usually a moment of 'reviewing it all' in hopes that we don't forget anything and we aren't forced to get up in the middle of the night to correct something. We realize some of these things don't sound like much. But, if you forget them, you can have a fairly big problem later on.

Good Night Everyone!

If the farmers have the energy - and sometimes even when they don't - they say "Good night" to all of their friends and acquaintances as they see them during the evening walkabout to do chores.

Even the Barn Swallows are mellowing out.

The Barn Swallows are not chittering or performing their aerial acrobatics, but they are preening before finding their roosts. A Great Horned Owl reminds us he's in the area with his call. Richard, the Dickcissel gets one more series of songs in before calling it a day. The monarchs float around the understory of the larger trees until they find their spots. Meanwhile, the lightning bugs come out and light our way back from closing up the hens.

And the Inspector drops by for one more skritch and offers up a friendly purr.

We hope everyone has (or has had) a fine day.

Saturday, June 3, 2023

12 Things You Didn't Know About the Genuine Faux Farm

I thought I would revisit a blog mini-series we called "Ode to Clickbait!" It's Saturday, we're supposed to have a little bit of fun with the weekend blogs, aren't we?

Wait? You don't know what clickbait is? Well, let's start with that first:

Clickbait is a title or link that intentionally over-promises OR misrepresents in order to pull people to a particular website. The idea is to give you a sensational headline that you just can't resist so you come read our blog! But, to fully qualify as clickbait - we're supposed to fail to deliver on what we promise with the headline.

I already have a problem with that. I just might have to rethink this.

Other characteristics for click bait? Content is usually short (under 300 words).

Uh oh.

They often steal content from other sites and very little is original. Uh oh again.

Maybe we'll just stick with click-bait-like titles for a few posts and see if we can have some fun with it.

Here we go! 12 Things you might not have known about the Genuine Faux Farm.

1. We are not "Faux Farms"

We ARE the Genuine Faux Farm, honest and for true. Please note two things about the name.

First, we are only ONE farm.

The "s" is not applicable to us. We own only one small farmstead of about 15 acres, which hardly puts us in the same category of organizations that have gathered multiple farm-sites under its farm name. If you would like for us to become "Farms," please contact us about the 50 acres of prime veggie growing or turkey pasture raising land that you will donate to us so we can make the "s" applicable. Or, you could just remove the "s."

Choices... choices.

Second, we are the GENUINE Faux Farm.

If we're Faux Farm, then we are either just fake/false or incapable of creativity because we'd just be using our last name for our farm name. Hey! Look at this blog post! Creativity abounds! Please let us be a little bit clever and give our "Genuine Faux Farm" name a chance. It's a small thing to do in order to build up our confidence. You can still roll your eyes after you say it - especially if you do that while reading the blog because we can't see you.

Or can we? Hmmmmmmm. NOW, I've got your attention!

2. Our farm has been producing food since 2004 and blog posts since 2008.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but on our farm - we'll do both a picture AND a thousand words with our blogs. This is very much against the standard operation procedures for click bait.

I am really BAD at this. And, I'm actually proud of that. Go figure.

Since we've already broken some (or maybe all) of the rules of click-bait, we'll just go ahead and break them more thoroughly by providing real information. We moved to the farmstead during the Summer of 2004 from Chokio, Minnesota where Rob worked at the University of Minnesota-Morris as a college professor in the Computer Science Discipline. We moved to Tripoli so Tammy could take a job at Wartburg College as a professor of Social Work. We actually received permission to plant a veggie garden at the new place before we had officially purchased it.

That might give you an idea as to some of our priorities in life.

7. We know how to count.

See! I toad you so!

3. Kohlrabi Yes, Fennel No

When we are asked what we grow, we often answer with either "everything from A to Z" or "name a vegetable." It's true that we do grow asparagus and zucchini, but we have to cheat a little with "Q" by saying we grow Quadrato asti Giallo bell peppers and we have no idea what to do with "X."

When we offer the "name a vegetable" option, we usually get a fairly common answer that is easy to say yes to... Tomato? Yes. Green Beans? Yes. Onions? Yes.

Sometimes, a person will get clever and try "Kohlrabi?" Why? Because it sounds fun and the plants look kind of weird. And, we can still say "yes" to it because we have actually grown several types of kohlrabi. On the other hand, we've never grown fennel. Why? Well, for one, we don't particularly care for it. And for two? We never had any demand indicated for it.

If someone had asked, we probably would have given it a go. That's just the way we roll, I guess.

4. The cats aren't (quite) in charge (yet)

But, they WILL sit on things you are about to move.

5. It takes two PhD's to run a small diversified farm

Ok. It takes two PhD's to run the Genuine Faux Farm, which just happens to be a small, diversified farm. Rob is the 'Farm Boss,' and until 2020, he worked full-time at the farm (and is the principle blogger and spreadsheet maker). His PhD is in Computer Science and Adult Education. As you can see, he is fully applying his education in this profession. And, while that is meant to be somewhat facetious, I can tell you that pattern-matching and problem-solving are two skills that are needed in both Computer Science and farming.

Yes, I do keep telling myself that.

Tammy is the 'Queen Boss' on the farm. Our joke is that when you don't like something, you complain to the 'Farm Boss' and if you do like something, all praise to the 'Queen Boss.' If you want to get something done, go to the Farm Supervisors (the cats) and they'll tell you to make the two 'bosses' do it.

While it may not really take two PhD's to run a small diversified farm, it DOES take two PhD's to run THIS small diversified farm. Rob could not succeed at the Genuine Faux Farm without Tammy (and hopefully she feels the same way about Rob). The Farm Supervisors do NOT have PhD's, but that's ok because they know everything and didn't need to study.

6. The view on the farm is incredible

There isn't actually a GFF West. Does this qualify as appropriate for clickbait? Or is it just silly?

8. We thrive on variety

We believe in diversity on our farm and we've talked about this topic many times on this blog and elsewhere. That said, we need to tell you some things that you didn't already know about us....

In 2019, we grew 20 different varieties of lettuce and 30 different varieties of tomatoes. Most of these were heirloom or heritage varieties. Since we started in 2004, we have tried approximately 70 different tomato varieties, twelve green bean varieties, fifty lettuce varieties and... well, you get the idea.

We have raised a wide range of veggie cultivars because we know people have different likes and dislikes for taste and texture. We also know that many varieties of the same vegetable type feature different tastes and textures. A range of cultivars provide us with a form of crop insurance too. For example, some tomatoes deal with cool seasons better than warm seasons and vice versa. Since we grow in Iowa, we try to cover our bases so that we have some successful crops each and every season.

10. It has been a while since we did Farmers' Markets

Here is a fact about our farm that we are guessing a number of people who do know about us might not have actually realized. We have not been involved in a farmers' market for almost seven years now. We're still amazed that people ask us if we were 'at market.'

9. We work in all sorts of whether
Tammy says that we work in all sorts of whether because we work
- whether or not it is raining
- whether or not the sun shines
- whether or not the tractor is running
- whether or not it's the 4th of July or Memorial Day or Labor Day
- whether or not we want to on any given day

And that is today's whether report!

11. There is NO Number 12 on this list.

But, here are some baby chicks. That usually makes up for it.

11. We like to educate and have a little fun

In case you hadn't noticed, one part of our farm's mission is to educate and inform others about sustainable farming and local foods. One part of our own personal mission is to enjoy life and have a little fun once in a while.

We also actually like to provide some value with everything we produce - even if we use a 'click bait' type of title to draw you in. We hope you enjoyed the post and even got something positive out of it.

Nope, I really am not very good at producing clickbait content.