Not Rudolph

 

There are harsh realities that comes with certain professions.  For example, if you work at a retail store in December, you are likely to develop an aversion to Christmas carols.  Tammy and I have our own set of realities that come with the professions we have undertaken during our careers.

For example, we still cringe when someone asks us what we are doing to enjoy our nice May (or any other growing season month) weekend.  You see, when you work a small-scale, diversified farm, you don't necessarily get weekends off.  In fact, if you do farmers' markets, Saturdays are often one of your longest days of the week.  You need Sunday off just to recover from it... except you still have to do the chores.  And there's always something else you really need to do on Sunday anyway.

I know I have mentioned this recently, but the Christmas holiday season can be difficult for those who are teachers or professors.  There typically isn't time or space in a teacher's life to prepare for it - unless it is part of their job (holiday concerts anyone?!?).

That's why the appearance of our small tree inside the house ALREADY this year is a minor miracle.  The fact that there are a couple of new strings of solar lights is a bigger deal yet.  The question is this: were the appearances of these things an attempt to ward off the impending insanity of Finals Week or signs that things are going better this year?

I'm not going to answer that question.  Instead, I'm going to take you back to 2009.  We were still relatively new to the Genuine Faux Farm and we had not reconciled ourselves to the fact that our house is adjacent to a snowmobile trail.  In 2009, the weather was pretty cold and there was plenty of snow.

And this is an account of the events that happened on Wednesday (and Thursday) of finals week that year:

--------------------------

11:30 PM - The lights are still on in the house. It is finals week. The schedule is a bit topsy-turvy. It is the way of things during finals week. The humans will placate the cat and go to bed soon. Tomorrow is an early and long day. Must get some sleep.

12:15 AM - One human takes a while to wind down, but he always takes longer to fall asleep. Don't worry, he'll...zzzzzzzz

1:00 ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

1:29 AM - Something is going on...huh? wha? Must wake up..... Why does it seem like there is a pulsing light?

1:30 AM - A clock rings the half hour. The pulsing light is still there. My brain is still confused, but becoming a bit alarmed - literally. Don' t all of our smoke detectors make loud noises if they go off? I wonder if the speaker went bad in one and it is just blinking. I'd better get up and investigate!

1:31 AM - Hmmm. That light isn't coming from inside the house. It is OUTSIDE! What's going on here?

1:32 AM - Arg! All of these older windows are covered in frost and I can't see out, but the lights are right outside on the road. And they are very bright. Was there an accident? Did Santa come early with Rudy?

1:40 AM - Here's how you know the lights are bright and annoying. Even Tammy has been awakened by them. We now have identified the source. The trail groomer for the snowmobile route is STUCK in the ditch in front of our house. It is REALLY cold out there tonight and the driver's out there shoveling away in an effort to get out. I'm not sure that I'm feeling sorry for him right now. 

We have thoughts about calling...who?... I don't know... the sheriff?  We have conflicting feelings about how difficult it must be to work in -15 degree F weather vs our own annoyance at the continued blinky lights, lost sleep and periodic loud growling as he tries to rock the vehicle to 'unstick' it.

None of this is helping me to feel sleepy either.

1:45 AM - Ok, fine. He hasn't come to the house to ask for help. It seems as though he's been on a cell phone. We don't have a big tractor to pull him out.  About all we could do is grab another shovel or two and try to dig.  But, that doesn't seem useful.  Our lights are on, so he should know he can come to our house to warm up.

We desperately need to get to sleep (if we can). So we do our best to try and drown out the light.

1:50 AM - white snow outside and really bright lights. grrrrrrr (was that me or the machine out there?)

2:00 AM - The clock rings in the hour. Tammy appears to be asleep again - at least part way.  I'm still annoyed and still alert in case there is a knock on the door. 

2:04 AM - blink blink blink grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr blink blink blink...

2:10 AM - Finally!  It sounds like the thing is moving now. 

2:11 AM - Oh no.. it still has to go all the way around our property (where the trail runs)! Ugh. Blinky lights for a while yet.

2:20 AM - The blinking is fading into the distance.  I get up and take a quick check - no presents under tree. Drat.

2:30 AM - The clock rings in the half hour.

2:40 AM - One human takes a while to wind down, but he always takes longer to fall asleep. Don't worry, he'll...zzzzzzzz  

---------------------------

You can tell that this was a different time in our lives.  Yes, we would still be annoyed if this happened again.  But, I would probably get bundled up and go outside to see what is going on and offer to help.  I would also make a strong suggestion that they not groom the trail quite so late the next time they do it - especially not by our house... during Finals Week.  Ok, I might have lost my temper (after I woke up enough to do just that) - but I'd still be out there, in part because we've experienced it once and it wouldn't take so long to figure out exactly what was going on.

Because, regardless of the year, Finals Week is always difficult to be our best selves.

Yes, we've got a tractor now.  Yes, we have other tools that might help.  But at that time, we had an old truck that likely couldn't have done much (other than possibly lose a part of itself in the process of trying to help).  And the experience I had with trying to get vehicles out of (or through) ditches was minimal.  In addition to being tired and annoyed, we were out of our element and probably not thinking too clearly.

But, I still think the kicker of it all is that I was awakened by a blinking red light.

And it wasn't Rudolph.

Daylight Savings Solutions

 

When it comes to the controversy that is Daylight Savings Time and the bi-annual shift between Standard and Daylight time, we are a split household.  My opinion is that we should just pick a time (Daylight or Standard) and stick to it.  Tammy's is that she sees a benefit to to each.  She likes the sun to be up well prior to her 9 AM classes in December.  So, she's got a point there.  If we were to choose Daylight Savings time for the whole year, the latest sunrise would be about 8:40 AM (with official "dawn" being about a half-hour earlier).

And, I guess there is the "issue" of dawn arriving at 4AM in June if we stick with Standard time. 

It's only because the switch between Daylight Savings Time and Standard Time seems to mess with me and my own internal time clock so much that she might be willing to agree to stick with one or the other.  

Some of you might recall that this is not the first time I have offered up a set of possible Daylight Savings Solutions.  But, since it is upon us yet again, I couldn't help myself!  I am re-sharing previous solutions (with some edits) and adding in some more!  

That, and I wanted to share some nice sunset and sunrise pictures, so I added them in too!

Let's have a little fun! 

Option 1: Give the night shift the daylight

All of those fine people who get stuck with the "graveyard shift" deserve a break.  How about we simply switch around AM and PM?  Now the night time hours would be the sunlit hours!

All of those folks who have had to deal with working without the benefit of the sun will suddenly be able to step out during break and catch a few rays.  And, isn't it time the rest of us learned what it is like to work our shifts during the hours when the sun is shining on the other side of the earth?

Option 2: Ease the shock of the time change with incremental time changes

One of the reasons I struggle with the time change so much is that we make this big, one-hour shift all at once.  As the sunrise happens a little earlier each day in the early Spring, I find myself getting up a little earlier each day with minimal fuss and bother.  So, let's EASE into Daylight Savings!  Maybe it will convert people like myself into believers that DST is a good idea.

Starting March 1st, we should add one minute to the time each day until, after 60 days, we've reached the one hour mark.  Ha ha!  Now we're where we want to be for the longest days of the year.  Then, we subtract one minute each day for sixty days in the Fall!

I can't see any difficulties with this proposal - can you?  I mean, it's simple.  Though we might get tired of all of the "set your clocks ahead (or back) one minute" reminders for 120 days of the year.

Option 3: Provide an opt-out policy

Let's let everyone PICK whether they want to participate in either Daylight Savings or Standard Time.  If the time switch really bugs a person, they can sign a personal "opt-out" form.

We can then have two segments of the population that reside in the same area in two different time zones.  Think of the fun and excitement we could have with this!

That office meeting that happens every week is now going to have to have two meeting times published if you want everyone to attend together.  However, this could also be a way to split things up and give everyone more opportunity!  The high school varsity baseball teams could have a game at 7pm for the DST'ers and a 7pm game for the ST'ers.  Twice as many kids get to play!!  Though I suspect there may be some issues with the use of the ball diamond.

And given our tendency of late to take sides on practically any issue and make it personal, this might just be a recipe for disaster.

Option 4: Go half-way

Do you have some of the complaints Tammy has regarding sticking with either Daylight Savings or Standard Time?  Would you rather not have the sun come up after you've gotten to work in the winter or have it pop up just after you've finally gotten to sleep?

Here's a solution for you!

Let's just move each time zone half way between the two!  Pick the half-way mark, moving 30 minutes forward from Standard and then stay there with no further changes.

Option 4a: Adjust for popular opinion

Or, we could be a bit more innovative!

Let's have everyone vote for which of the two times they like better - Standard or Daylight Savings.  Then, based on the vote, we move the time.  For example, if 66% vote for Daylight Savings and 33% for Standard, we just move 40 minutes forward from Standard (or about 66% of the distance between the two).

See?!? Everyone got a say in the matter AND we're able to make a numerically supported compromise!  

Option 5: Spice it up and let every state just pick a time measuring method

Hey!  Why don't we do what we seem to like to do with so much of our governing in the United States?  Let's let every state pick how they want to do things.  Surely that will make everyone happy.  I mean, doesn't this approach ALWAYS make everyone happy?

No?

Huh.

Option 6: Go back to sundials

As an introvert, I actually like the idea of sundials.  

First, if it is a really cloudy day, you have to cancel all of your scheduled meetings because NOBODY will know what time it is.  And, second, you can really mess with peoples' sense of time during the night-time hours.  Only those folks who work the night shift will know what's going on.  The rest of us will be completely lost.

Option 7: Use the "Farmer Time" method

To be perfectly clear - I've learned to rely more on the arrival and existence of daylight to tell me when to do things on the farm.  Sometimes the construct that is time zones just gets in my way.

Sun's up?  Time to get up and let the animals out, give them food and water, and just start "doing stuff."  Sun's going down?  Time to put the animals away, put the equipment away, and perhaps do something that is not farm-related for a while - like sleep. 

If you don't want to work the same hours as a farmer, the solution is simple.  Make a calendar that tells you how many hours and minutes of daylight you have each day - then slice off chucks of it for work and for play.  You can either count from the point the sun is at its highest or you can count from dawn or dusk - you pick. 

Works great - unless you live in Alaska.  If you're waiting on sunrise to tell you it is time to get to work in the winter months, you may have a problem - and you'll NEVER quit working in the summer months.  

I guess you could figure out this hibernation thing other critters do. 

Option 8: Time zone trials

Are you the kind of person who really hates to buy something before you actually have tried it?  If so, you might like this idea!

Let's allow communities a chance to test drive different time zones to see which one fits best!  It could also be a great way to travel without physically leaving where you are.  Want to visit London? Just shift to Greenwich Mean Time for a while!  Or maybe you just had a REALLY GOOD day - you could switch to a time zone that's a few hours earlier and extend that day a bit!

What do you mean that wouldn't work?

Option 9: How about a lottery?

It seems to me that an inordinate number of people like to gamble on all sorts of things - why not gamble on the time zone approach that your locality will be using?

To make this even more realistic, let's first take a poll to find out what the most popular choices would be.  Then, we need to set things up so those choices are LESS likely to be selected.

The basic idea is that only a couple of REALLY lucky people will be happy with the solution.  Everyone else.... loses.

Option 10: Use the sands of time.

We can learn to appreciate or come to despise the sands of time if only we all started carrying an hourglass around instead of watches or phones.  Obviously, it has to be a big enough hourglass for each person to be able to keep track of time for the entire day.  I realize this is something like the idea of having everyone set their own time zone - but I wanted to offer up this option because I learned something cool when I first wrote about these Daylight Savings Solutions.

The largest hourglass is reported to be in Budapest, Hungary.  It measures one year of time and weighs 60 tons.  Happily, an hourglass for one day would be a bit smaller than that.  In fact, you can get a 4-hour hourglass and it is "only" 18 inches tall.  I realize this would not be a perfectly linear equation, but that puts a daylong hourglass somewhere in  the range of six-feet tall.

I hope these things would come with wheels - and turning them over for the new day might be a bit of a production.  That big, Hungary hourglass takes four people hauling on cables 45 minutes to get it turned for the new year.

But, I suspect enough of us make New Year's resolutions to get into better shape.  Why not make it necessity to turn over a six-foot tall glass each day?

Option 11: Move the people with the time

Well, if most people don't like the time change, I have another idea that would NOT require that we make ANY changes to our current system of cycling between Daylight Savings and Standard Time.  Keep all of that the same.

Instead, we should make people move from time zone to time zone so they do not have to adjust their clocks - they just have to adjust to a new home and new location.  

I suppose there might be an issue when we start pushing people on either coast into the ocean, but we all have to make sacrifices if we want to solve this problem.

Option 12: Double or nothing

Here's an option for those of us who are always complaining that time goes by too quickly.  Or for those folks who say "wait a minute" and they really need two minutes.  Let's just double the length of all of our time units.  Make each second twice as long, each minute twice as long, each hour twice as long...

I think you get the picture.

How does this solve the Daylight Savings issue?  Well, you just get rid of it.  The swing between longest and shortest days of the year just got cut in half!  Tammy's complaint with the sun not coming up in time to start the work day is moot because now the sun will come up around 4 am even during the shortest days!  And yes, it will still be up well into the evening hours.

If you really like sunrise or sunset, you can get TWO of each of these every day with this plan.  Just think!  You could double your productivity!  A two week vacation would be TWICE as long.  Your favorite holidays could truly be savored because you have double the time to enjoy.  You could even eat TWICE as much in one day!

For those of you who like to take naps, it will be dark in the middle of the day.  So, taking a nap just got easier too!  

On the other hand, if you think a one-hour meeting is bad now...  And while the wait in the doctor, dentist, whomever's waiting area was only fifteen minutes, it was a LOOOONG fifteen minutes.

Option 13: Split it in two

Okay, be honest now.  After Option 12, you just HAD to see this one coming, didn't you?

Let's split each day into two pieces.  One part will be called "night" and the other will be called "day."  We just count time from the beginning of whichever part we're in.

Unfortunately, this then brings us to the debate as to when day and night actually "officially begin."  Is it during Civil Twilight, Nautical Twilight, Astronomical Twilight or Official Sunrise/Sunset?

Well, at least we have the hope of having more than two sides to that argument, won't we?

Solving the worlds problems, one at a time

It turns out that, according to this poll, only 28% of people in the United States actually favor this swapping back and forth between Daylight Savings and Standard Time.  On the other hand, they can't agree on which way we should go.  While 40% prefer that we stick with Standard Time, 31% would prefer to stay with Daylight Savings.

Clearly, this is a difficult situation that calls for my unique style of problem solving.  See how quickly and easily I came up with fourteen, count them, FOURTEEN (remember 4a?) solutions for this very knotty and clearly divisive problem.

Now that I've provided the world with this service, which problem should I tackle next?  

If you have ideas - put them in the comments, I'll get right on it!

Will You Walk With Me?

--------------------

Here's hoping she'll say yes... again.

Let There Be Lights!

In 2021, we were treated to an impromptu parade in Kekaha that left us smiling.  I'm sure part of the positive vibe that came from it was the simple fact that it WAS impromptu and it WAS for the locals in the town.  There was a good bit of joyfulness and plenty of Aloha that could be felt, even if we were NOT locals.

Since we were fortunate to be able to visit the west side of Kauai again over the holidays in 2022, we made a point to get to the official Waimea Light Parade.  For those who do not know, Waimea is the next town to the east from Kekaha.  

For the parade to happen, the road into town was closed starting at 5pm and was not going to be opened until much later that night (concerts follow the parade).  So we had to make a decision.  Do we go into town early and hope to find a parking spot - and then stay for the duration?  Or do we park outside of town and walk in?

Since we were still recovering a bit from the travel to the island of Kauai, we opted for the latter - and that's how Tammy got one of her first walks in during the trip.  

The Waimea Lights Parade is a popular local event.  People living on the West side bring their keiki (children) for the parade.  The parade emcees made it a point to remind everyone to watch their keiki when the vehicles came down the road.  Then, they also reminded us that we should watch all keiki and do something if a child is about to dash in front of a vehicle because the COMMUNITY takes responsibility to for the safety of its children.

I took specific note of the fact that treats were not thrown from parade floats into a scrum of waiting children - a practice that always bothered me because it favored those kids that were willing to push others aside to grab all they could.  Instead, treats were handed directly to the children by individuals walking alongside the floats.  

It was friendlier.  It was kinder.  It meant something more.  And, I liked it.

The town businesses and the park were also lit up.  There were some food vendors as well.  And, of course, there was a stage set up for the music.  The layout clearly favored those who were familiar with the town and the event itself.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with that at all.  It was refreshing to be allowed to participate in this local festival that was not catering to tourists.

It felt very much like many of the town festivals we celebrate in Iowa during the summer months.  If maybe a bit more... somehow.  

Many of the "floats" were service vehicles or work vehicles that had lights strung all around them.  There were boats on trailers, backhoes on trailers, and, of course, trailers that had a specifically designed float.  

The high school marching band performed and the state champion football team was loudly cheered.  There were people popping wheelies on bicycles that had lights on their tires.  There was a group of Volkswagon Beetles and Vans that were lit up and cruising along.  A couple of floats used a combination smoke or mist machine with a bubble machine to good effect with colored lights shining through them.

We did miss seeing the septic pumping truck that ran the streets of Kekaha last year.  Maybe they didn't enter the parade this time around?  Or maybe there is a counter-culture parade that just lights up their vehicles and drive around when they want to.  If anyone would do it, it would be the people charged with having to pump out septic systems, wouldn't it?  A job that is really necessary, but so few are willing to do it.  It takes a special person and I suspect they develop a special sense of humor.

As with all things, there were a couple of floats that were a bit annoying for various reasons.  But, it takes a variety of people to make a community.  Perhaps there were many who appreciated them even when we did not?  It doesn't matter in the end, because the feeling of the whole was positive.

And we enjoyed seeing it.

To the community on the West Side - Mahalo!

We appreciated the chance to celebrate with you.

The Farmer's Yapping Again

It's something I am willing to do.  Though, for the life of me, I'm not always sure why people want me to do it sometimes.  And yes, that is me, deflecting the possibility that I might have something useful to share with others.

It has been time for the farmer to do his Farmer Yapping Tour in the 2022/23 speaking season.  Today, I'll be speaking to a class at the University of Northern Iowa along with Olga Reding, who will be representing the Iowa Organic Association.  Last week, I was at Hawkeye Community College and the week before that I was at Wartburg and even added in a presentation for Black Hawk County Extension.  I even presented via Zoom for a class in Arizona!

It sounds like there will be another event for Iowa Organic Association and I'll be speaking at the Practical Farmers of Iowa conference in January.  And, there are other things in the works.

I will be honest, I actually like presenting.  That might sound contrary to my introverted nature, but it actually fits pretty well.  It is important to me to do what I can to help others to learn.  I think it is fair to say that I have the heart of a teacher/facilitator of learning.  On top of that, I actually have a fair amount of training for public speaking - despite my introversion tendencies. 

And remember, when an introvert is asked to present, it gives them license and purpose to speak.  You are not just throwing them into a room with  thirty other people and telling them to partake in "small talk."  That, my friends, would be enough to make me find the darkest corner of the room and hide.

Or maybe I'm the guy with the lampshade over his head.  Or those feet at the bottom of the curtain might be mine.  

But most likely, you'll see my backside as I head right on out the door as soon as I find an opportunity.

But, give me purpose and license and I can do very well.  Hence the Farmer Yapping Tour.

Thus far, I have gotten many excellent and thoughtful questions during these presentations.  Maybe. Just maybe, I've encouraged a few people to think a little bit and to consider things that need considering.  Perhaps they've even learned something new in the process too!

Giving Gifts

 

There is one person in particular (other than myself) who must carry much of the burden of hearing my unedited self.  This person often hears the words that escape my lips before I recapture them and turn them over a time or two before either reconsidering their worth or giving them the freedom of my voice or the recognition of their appearance on paper or electronic screen.

You see, when you read things on this blog, they have been considered.  They have been prodded and poked.  They have been filtered and sorted.  And many, many more words have been rejected as well.  

There are far more words on the editing floor than there ever will be in the blog posts or other writings I have produced or ever will produce in my lifetime.

And, even with all of that process, words and thoughts are expressed that I am sometimes less than proud of having, much less sharing.  Which makes me consider all of the words on the "cutting room floor" and those times when the editing machine is broken, or unplugged, or otherwise ignored.

So, in honor of a personal anniversary, I offer the gift of gratitude to all who are willing to deal with my unedited self.  But, in particular, I honor Tammy, my partner in life, who hears me the most when I am less than my best.

For the willingness to share in the process of refining and editing the words and the thoughts, I give thanks and gratitude.  That's a gift I continue to treasure.

Why - Two K!

 

As I was looking to see what partially finished blogs I might feel like completing this week I noticed something that surprised me.  You see, there is this little pop-up in blogger that tells you how many posts you have and I just happened to look at it as I was looking at the list of blogs that were in draft status. 

Here's what I saw as I looked:

As of Sunday, the Genuinely Faux blog had 1,998 blog entries published.  That was when I suddenly realized that I was only two entries away from my 2000th blog post.  

Are you kidding me?!?  How in the world did THAT happen?

Oh.  I suppose the big blogging blitz I started when the pandemic was really taking hold might have something to do with it.

I celebrated 1000 posts on October 13, 2017 with a post that highlighted some entertaining words from many of those 1000 entries.  I looked at it and I thought to myself, "Great.... now I have to do some sort of celebratory blog for 2000 posts.  When am I going to find time and energy to do all of that work and figure out what things I should highlight?"

That's when I realized I was going about this all wrong.

We're supposed to celebrate the round numbers, not make work out of them.  Well, actually, we should celebrate any number.  Each time we succeed at something... anything... we should allow ourselves at least a moment to feel a little pleasure that we have accomplished some task.  The round numbers (like 2000) remind us to take a moment to recognize the aggregate of something we have done.  To take some pleasure in the resiliency, tenacity, skill and good fortune that allowed us to accomplish some sort of thing over and over again.

We should recognize and celebrate things like "live another decade together as a married couple" (congratulations Mom & Dad!).  Or to a lesser extent, reaching the number 400 as we were harvesting Thelma Sanders acorn squash on Sunday.

And perhaps reaching 2000 blog entries on this blog today is worth some feelings of accomplishment.

We can celebrate things in many ways.  For example, I took that really neat picture that opened up this blog.  The skies had an almost surreal look to them for most of the day and I just had to capture that image with the bright red roof as contrast.  I celebrated a beautiful day where we were accomplishing good things by capturing a beautiful image.

And our oak friends were painting the sky yet again, giving us contrast so we could better see the depth of the blues and the textures of the clouds.  So, I celebrated that moment as well.

Once I reminded myself that 2000 posts should not mean having to create a blog post I don't feel like creating right now, I suddenly felt much more like celebrating.  I also realized exactly how valuable it can be to let yourself feel a sense of accomplishment.  And, it really doesn't matter how small that accomplishment might be.  It is healthy and good for your well-being to have a sense of accomplishment in your life - whether it is something small (I took a picture on a beautiful day) or a decent-sized accomplishment (2000 blog posts) or something magnificent (like 60 years of marriage).

Here's hoping each of you find at least one thing in your life to celebrate today!

Shall We Walk Another Year Together?

--------------------

What are you seeing here?  This is a calendar I made for 2022 using our own photos and my own words.  They are a gift to my best friend - and I am hopeful that she'll marry me (again). 

Think she'll say "yes?"  I hope so.